gayannabeth

  Mentions of death, detransition, deadnaming, transphobia, Fox News, abusive parents

  [colpse]

  I’d very rarely heard this much panic in Rachel’s voice. Actually, until recently, I’d barely heard much emotion in Rachel’s voice period.

  She had good reason to be panicking too. Apparently, her parents hadn’t bought the whole ‘trying to expose a woke plot’ thing (shocker), and they were instead kicking her out.

  A part of me hadn’t really expected things to escate that quickly… but, thinking about it, I really should have. To be fair, Rachel’s parents hadn’t always been horrible people — they’d been babies once, after all — but, through a combination of a fundamentalist background and an unhealthy diet of Fox News, hate-preachers, and right leaning internet micro-celebrities, their worldview was firmly ‘queer equals Satan’ among other things.

  I ended up offering Rachel my couch to sleep on, and mentioned that Liv had a car. I probably should’ve asked Liv if that was ok with her first, but she seemed plenty concerned for a girl she’d never even been properly introduced to yet. She had no issue with driving me all the way up to Richmond Hill to go get Rachel and whatever belongings she wanted to bring with her.

  During the drive, I expined to Liv what I knew about Rachel’s family, which… Wow I was not painting them in a favourable light.

  “What are you thinking?” I asked Liv.

  Liv was silent for a moment. “There’s a reason we keep our magic transitions a secret. People like Rachel’s parents.”

  “Ok,” I said. “What’s the, uh, issue?”

  Liv swallowed. “You know how easy it is to apply affirmation enchantments to things. Now, imagine if a transphobe got an enchantment that could reverse it.”

  “Oh fuck,” I said.

  “Exactly,” Liv said.

  “Has that… ever happened before?” I asked.

  Liv tightened her grip on the steering wheel. “A friend of Iris’, Kenzie, took in a girl who’d been transformed this past Summer. Her dad was a lot like how you described Rachel’s parents. He managed to find someone willing to help undo it. I’m pretty sure it’s not actually possible to undo transformations from the statues, but… Well, anyway, Kenzie killed the wizard and transformed the dad into a teenage girl, which, uh, funny story, she was actually ok with… but yeah, it was plenty scary. Now imagine if some transphobic wizard got the idea to attach the enchantment to a piece of software so unsuspecting trans people would download it.”

  I shuddered. The mere thought of such a thing happening was so deeply and viscerally uncomfortable. The idea of sitting down to py a new game and getting turned back into a guy… I did NOT want that happening. Not to me, not to any of my friends, not to anyone.

  “Wait, hang on,” I said, “you said Kenzie killed this wizard?”

  Liv nodded. “Detransition can easily mean death for us. It’s self-defense, Lilly.”

  I tried to wrap my head around that. It wasn’t hard, actually.

  We pulled up in front of Rachel’s house. Don’t let its cheery exterior fool you; this pce was perhaps one of the most horrifying and depressing pces to exist: a massive suburban home that, every time I’d visited as a child, had given off an overwhelmingly oppressive atmosphere. Both of Rachel’s parents’ cars were in the driveway — two massive SUVs, one bck, one silver.

  “I’ll text her we’re here,” I said, taking out my phone to message my friend.

  Lillith: were here

  We didn’t have to wait long until Rachel emerged from the front door. It was obvious she’d been crying – she had makeup running down her face. Her hair was a mess. She was dragging a suitcase behind her and carrying a backpack on her back.

  I got out of the car and went to help her.

  “Hey,” I said.

  Rachel let out a quiet grunt.

  I opened up the trunk of Liv’s Prius and helped Rachel put the suitcase in. “Is that everything?”

  Rachel shook her head. “Gotta grab my PC too.”

  “I can help you grab that,” I said.

  Rachel looked up at my face then hesitated. “I don’t… I don’t know how they’ll react to you, you’re still recognisable, you know?”

  I took her backpack and put it in the trunk too. “How, uh, how are you feeling, Rach-”

  “Don’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “I… I’m a guy, Lilly. You… You’re a real trans girl.”

  “What happened to all the ‘woke plot’ stuff, Rachel?”

  Rachel stammered for a bit before responding. “I-I-I m-mean, th-there has to be s-some real trans g-girls, right? Y-You g-got lucky.”

  “Apparently not that lucky,” I said.

  “What?” Rachel said. “What the fuck are you-”

  “I’ll expin ter,” I said, interrupting her. “Let’s go get your computer.”

  And without waiting for her reply, I headed over to her house.

  “Lilly, wait!” Rachel hissed. “I- You shouldn’t- My mom is pissed right now. Ok? She’s been-” Rachel stomped her foot in frustration. “She said I’m not her son anymore,” Rachel sobbed. “I can’t-”

  “Wait here,” I said.

  “What?”

  “I’ll go get your computer, Rachel. You wait with Liv, ok?”

  I took her hand and led her to the car and directed her to sit in the back seat.

  “Uh, right,” I said. “Rachel, this is Olivia. Olivia, this is Rachel.” I noticed my friend wasn’t protesting my use of her name.

  “Hi, Rachel,” Liv said.

  Rachel replied via an unintelligible mumble.

  I turned and headed towards the house. I wasn’t confronted by anyone as I made my way up the stairs and into Rachel’s room. It was a mess. The bed was unmade, the fitted sheet pulled up on all corners. There was a big pile of clothes next to her closet, which was empty. I found her computer already unplugged and pulled out from under her desk. I was starting to regret coming to do this all on my own.

  “What are you doing?” A voice said.

  I whirled around, my heart rate spiking. I rexed when I realised it was just Rachel’s older sister, Wendy. Unlike their parents, she was actually pretty chill. She was taller than Rachel was now, with long straight bck hair. She was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. A pair of gsses framed her brown eyes.

  “I’m uh… grabbing Ra- Harry’s computer.” Rachel’s deadname left a bad taste in my mouth.

  Wendy walked over to me around the big pile of clothes. “I’ll help you out.”

  Between the two of us, we easily gathered up Rachel’s desktop computer and the various peripherals.

  “You know, you can use her real name with me. Also, I’m going to assume you’re… well, you know.”

  “Rachel,” I said. “You’re not-”

  She scoffed. “I’m not nearly as bad as our parents. Don’t, uh, actually tell our parents that, though.”

  I was starting to think we’d get lucky and I’d manage to come and go without having to confront either of Rachel’s parents. No luck.

  “Who are you?” A voice said once we reached the bottom of the stairs. I turned to face the person in question — Rachel and Wendy’s mom. Her eyes went wide when she saw me. “David? Not you too! You were such a sweet boy.”

  I gnced at Wendy, who had frozen up.

  I grew tense. We were trapped. Wendy may have been nice, but when faced with her mom… Well, I certainly wasn’t expecting her to get herself kicked out here.

  We were saved by Liv, who came in through the front door. “Lilly, I just realised you’ll prob- oh shit.”

  “Language, young dy,” Rachel’s mom snapped at Liv.

  “What the…” Liv took in the situation – the frozen Wendy, me, the middle aged white woman. “Ok then,” Liv said. “I’ll, just, uh, take these off your hands, uh…”

  “Wendy,” I supplied.

  “Wendy, cool,” Liv said. She took Rachel’s computer monitor, mouse, keyboard, et cetera from Wendy. “You’re cute, by the way.”

  Wendy didn’t reply, but she avoided looking Liv in the eye, a faint blush on her face.

  “Now, just who are you?” Rachel’s mom asked, walking up to Liv, a finger outstretched.

  “A friend,” Liv replied tersely. “Come on, Lilly.”

  Rachel’s mom looked at me. “Who you calling Lilly, young dy?”

  Liv pointed at me. “Her. Duh.”

  “Don’t you take that disrespectful tone with me! That’s Da-”

  “Oh, just shut the fuck up you bigoted piece of shit,” Liv said.

  Rachel’s mom puffed up in indignation. “Excuse me!”

  “You’re excused,” Liv said in a deadpan tone. “Wendy, nice to meet you. Can’t say the same about your mom, though.”

  Liv turned and left out the front door, and I scrambled to follow.

  “That was hel awkward,” I said.

  “I hate her already,” Liv said. “Is, uh, Wendy alright?”

  “Huh?” I said. “Um, no clue. She has to live with– Anyway, she’s Rachel’s older sister. She’s pretty nice, but… Yeah, anyway.”

  “Is she, ya know, a follower of Sappho?”

  I blinked, trying to parse Liv’s words. “Follower of–”

  “Is she a lesbian,” Liv said.

  “Oh,” I said. “Uh, I have no idea, actually.”

  We put Rachel’s computer stuff in the back seat next to her. She looked a bit more cleaned up. She’d completely taken off her makeup, and her hair was a bit less of a mess.

  “Let’s go,” she said.

  gayannabeth