gayannabeth

  Dysphoria induced by a euphoria boner, deadname mentions, references to unnaccepting parents, intimacy while clothed, choice paralysis

  [colpse]

  Once in the waiting room, I was given a form to sign. I grimaced as I had to write down my deadname — hopefully I’d be able to get that changed soon. Hazel and I weren’t the only ones getting new piercings; Quinn wanted to get a bridge piercing, Venny had decided to get an industrial, and Liv debated with herself for a bit before settling on getting an eyebrow piercing.

  A man with a bunch of facial piercings led me to a chair, getting me to sit down.

  “Alright then, uhhh… what name would you prefer?”

  I was grateful he asked instead of just calling me by my deadname. “Lillith. Lilly for short.”

  “Alright, Lillith,” he said. “I’m going to be doing your piercings today. The ones you’ve picked shouldn’t hurt that much. Have your friends already expined how to take care of your new piercings to ya?”

  “Um, yeah. I just gotta make sure to keep them clean and not py with them until they’re healed.”

  “Good,” he said. “Let’s start with your ears and then your nose.”

  I nodded. “I’m ready.”

  He took out a small pen and pced a mark on each lobe, then held up a mirror in front of me. “These spots look good to you, Lillith?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, looks fine to me.”

  I was directed to lie down on the bench chair thingie. Two quick pinches ter, and I had brand new holes in my body, one in each ear lobe. The man then inserted little metal barbells in each new hole.

  “That wasn’t so bad,” I said. “Nose now?”

  We repeated the same process with my nose, and I soon had a sparkly little stud on the outside of my right nostril.

  “Thanks so much!” I excimed.

  I headed back out to the front to pay for my piercings. Three piercings total ended up costing seventy-five dolrs.

  I spotted Hazel, who had already finished getting her lip piercing done. She smiled when she saw me. “Lookin’ good, Lilly.”

  “Thanks,” I replied. “Yours looks pretty sick too.”

  “I know!” She squealed excitedly. “I’ve only got a couple more I want now.” She then ran through every piercing she currently had — eyebrow, both lobes, double helix on each ear, industrial on one ear, septum, nostril, naval, both nipples. That st one caused me to raise an eyebrow at her. Hazel blushed but smirked. “Yeah, I’ve got pierced nips. What of it?”

  I shook my head, turning away from her. I spotted Liv, her hair held to the side to show her new eyebrow piercing. I eyed it appreciatively. Goddess, this girl was so fucking hot, I just wanted her to take me back out to her car and-

  Goddamnit, Lilly, how the fuck are you this fucking horny all the time now?

  Venny rejoined the rest of us shortly after Liv. She turned her head with a flourish, showing off her new piercing. “Whaddy’all think?” She asked.

  “Um, looks cool,” I said.

  Cra looked up from her phone. “Nice and cute, babe!” She gave Venny a thumbs up.

  Iris and Sophie didn’t respond. Mostly because they weren’t in the room. I wasn’t entirely sure what the two of them were up to, but when they said they’d be waiting outside in Iris’ car, they were both very blushy, so I could make a good guess.

  After Liv and Venny both paid for their new piercings, we left the piercing shop. Hazel, Quinn and I got into Liv’s car with her, while Cra and Venny joined Sophie and Iris in Iris’ car (after making sure Iris and Sophie were fully clothed).

  “Let’s go go go!” Hazel said excitedly from the back seat, bouncing in pce. I’d never seen this side of the girl before. Like, she’d always been energetic, true, but this was a whole new level.

  We went to the same mall Liv had taken me to to buy bras the day before. Hazel was bouncing around energetically. The st thing she needed was a full can of Monster, but Liv just wordlessly handed one to her, which the pink-haired part-time foxgirl eagerly gulped down. We met up with the other four girls near the food court. Only Iris was hungry, and she got four whole cheeseburgers for herself (apparently needing to eat a lot was a demon magic thing).

  After Iris was done with the impressive feat of eating four cheeseburgers and a couple sides of fries, we started heading to the nearest clothing store. Ostensibly, the trip was for me, but…

  Well, the other girls seemed happy to browse. I spotted Quinn holding up a cy bra excitedly, facing Venny, who wiggled her eyebrows at them.

  “Soo…” I turned to Iris, who was looking through a clearance rack of jeans. “What, uh, sort of clothes should I get?”

  Iris shrugged. “Whatever you want, really.”

  I huffed. Well that was supremely unhelpful. How was I supposed to overcome my overwhelming anxiety at purchasing women’s clothing without gaining implicit permission from another girl by her directing me to try on something specific? I mean, really! It’s not like I can just make decisions for myself, can I?

  …

  That’s exactly what I should do. I know that. I’ve known that for years. I should be able to just go ‘I want that thing’ in a store and buy the damn thing. Like that cute pid pleated skirt sitting on the other clearance rack.

  I pointed at the skirt. “Should I?”

  Iris gave me a weird look. “Up to you.” She went back to browsing clothes — shorts now.

  I could’ve screamed with how frustrated I was feeling. Just fucking tell me to try on the skirt, Iris!

  As if somehow sensing my paralysis, Liv swooped in like a saviour angel (although I never expected angels to be wearing ripped jeans, ratty t-shirts and oversized fnnel), took one look at my face, and pointed at the skirt. “You wanna try that on, Lilly?”

  I nodded, blushing. Goddess, what was wrong with me? I had no issues grabbing a package of panties yesterday, but today I was just… intensely shy about it. Maybe because panties at least go under other clothes, so no one would see them…

  Unless, of course, someone decided to look up my skirt. No! Bad Lilly! Don’t think about that!

  I took the skirt off the rack, and held it in front of me. “How do I look?”

  Liv giggled. “Don’t think it’ll work with a hoodie tied around your waist, hun. I will say, wearing it with a men’s cut band t-shirt would definitely be a statement.”

  On the one hand… men’s shirt, right. I felt a little weird about that. On the other hand… well, it’s not like the cut of my shirt, of all things, will make people assume I’m a guy. I have C-cups. Cute little C-cups… Little is not the correct adjective there. I hadn’t noticed earlier, but the way my boobs deformed my shirt caused it to ride up, exposing my belly button. That was… mildly awkward, but it was a more feminine state of dress, so… Yeah, it worked.

  Hmmm… What if I got a belly button ring?

  Taking the skirt, I marched off to the fitting rooms, an amused Liv in tow. She didn’t follow me in, which I felt a little disappointed about (goddamnit, I’m such a horny little bitch), but I didn’t need to get distracted by taking girlcock in the throat (actually, did she even still have one? She said no about surgery, but a magic transition would be able to bypass that anyway). I untied my hoodie from around my waist then, hesitating a bit, started undoing my jeans, dropping them to the floor.

  I took a moment to examine myself. My panties were a little baggy, but there was still a visible bulge in the front. I think it might have been smaller than before, though. Maybe? I don’t fucking know, I didn’t spend that much time examining the damn thing before. For dysphoria reasons, I now realised.

  I unzipped the side of the skirt, then pulled it over my (rger than two weeks ago) hips, then zipped it back up.

  I looked up and in the mirror. The skirt and t-shirt surprisingly kinda worked together.

  Do a twirl, my brain said.

  I complied with this. I had no reason not to. I spun in pce, marvelling at how the garment fred out around my hips.

  This was wonderful. Amazing. Spectacur. And now my cock was getting hard. Great.

  I flushed red with shame and embarrassment. The insecurities from the day before came rushing back. Fetishist. Pervert. Creep.

  I almost took the skirt right off, but a knock at the door stopped me.

  “Hey, Lilly, how does it look?” Liv’s voice called.

  I took a deep breath, then opened the door a bit, poking my head out.

  “It looks fine,” I said quietly. “I just, uh, have a small problem.”

  Liv gave me a confused look. “What…” she trailed off, her eyes filling with realisation. “Oh.”

  I blushed. “Um, uh… so…”

  “Oh, honey,” Liv started, then paused, licking her lips, her eyes looking at the wall next to my head. “That’s, uh, a normal thing, actually.”

  “Wait, for real?” I asked, feeling a little shocked. Getting a hard-on was normal when wearing a skirt?

  Liv nodded, still not meeting my eyes with her own, a slight blush on her face. “Yeah, uh, it’s called a euphoria boner. You’re experiencing gender euphoria right now, and uh… yeah. It’s normal. Lots of trans girls get those. I get those, many of the others… uh… used to get those.”

  My brain helpfully filed the information that Liv did indeed still have a girl cock. Thank you so much, horny brain! (You’re welcome.)

  “It’s um, a bit embarrassing…” I muttered.

  Liv nodded. “Yeah, just a bit. Um, it’ll go away after a bit. You can, uh, wait for that.”

  It already had gone away on its own, thankfully, so I just pulled the door open a bit more and stepped out. “So, um, what do you think?”

  Liv gnced down at my skirt, her eyes travelling up my body. I fought the urge to fidget under her gaze. I’d fucking asked her to take a look, don’t get shy now, Lillith.

  “It looks good. Works surprisingly well, actually.”

  I nodded. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

  “So, uh… wanna try on more clothes then?”

  Either that, or… I could grab her arm and pull her into the fitting room with me. Then I spotted the attendant looking at us. Well, there goes that idea.

  I nodded to Liv, who (I assume) was entirely oblivious to my horny urges.

  Goddess, I rarely got horny before all of this. Was this my new baseline now? I hoped not. Maybe I just needed Liv to rail me. Then my thirst would finally be quenched.

  After trying on several more skirts, as well as t-shirts, jeans, shorts, and leggings, we finally headed out, with me purchasing the majority of what I’d tried on. I winced at the price, but, hey, that’s what happens when you’re trying to update your wardrobe into something actually interesting.

  I’d thought about trying on a dress, but… I wasn’t brave enough for that yet.

  Once out in the car park, we all piled into our cars. Iris, Venny, and Cra lived out in Etobicoke, so they rode together. Sophie joined them since she lived nearby anyway. Quinn lived on campus in dorms, and Hazel lived actually not far from where I lived near Bathurst and Finch, so the three of us got into Liv’s car. Liv, it turned out, lived with her mom all the way out near Sheppard and Leslie.

  We dropped off Quinn first, of course, and then Hazel, before continuing towards my apartment.

  “Thanks for driving me home, Liv,” I said.

  “No problem, it was on my way anyway,” she replied.

  “No it wasn’t, you could’ve just taken the 401,” I said.

  She scoffed. “Nah, fuck that, traffic on there is terrible this time of day, actually. And stressful. So fucking stressful.”

  “I’ll take your word for it,” I said. “I don’t drive.”

  Liv giggled, which was a fucking gorgeous sound.

  I should exit the car. I should absolutely exit the damn car. I should not climb over the centre console, pnt myself in Liv’s p, and try to shove my tongue down her throat. I should not do that.

  I wanted to do that, though.

  “W-What are you doing?” Liv asked.

  I realised I’d been leaning towards her. I froze, blushing. “I, um, um, um… I want to…” The words died in my throat. I wanted to look away, I wanted to hide. But I was frozen in pce.

  Liv was blushing too. Her lips were slightly parted, and she was staring right back at me with wide eyes. “You, um, want to…?” She was asking me to continue.

  “Kiss you,” I whispered. She heard me.

  “O-Oh,” she said. “A-Are you sure?”

  I nodded, not trusting my vocal chords right then.

  “Oh, well, ok then,” she said. “If you’re sure.”

  I nodded again, then closed the rest of the distance, and found my lips pressed against hers. They were soft. Really soft.

  I found myself climbing over the centre console, and then I was in her p. I started trying to push my tongue between her lips, and she parted them a bit to let me in, pushing back with her own tongue. I felt her pce her hands on my hips, and holy fuck that drove my brain crazy. I wasn’t sure where to put my own hands, but I figured it would probably be fine if I mirrored her and held her hips as well.

  I could feel her cock hardening in her jeans. The two of us let out muffled moans as I shifted in Liv’s p, inadvertently grinding my ass against it.

  “Fuck, you’re so hot,” I whispered when we pulled apart for air.

  “So are you,” Liv whispered back. We resumed kissing, letting out muffled moans as I continued rocking my hips back and forth.

  Suddenly, my phone started bring out Hedwig’s theme. From Harry Potter. Rachel’s ringtone.

  “Is that-”

  “Yeah,” I replied. The mood had thoroughly been killed. “Rachel’s ringtone. It was, like, a pun on, well, her deadname now I guess… I should probably change it.”

  “You definitely should, Lilly,” Liv replied.

  I picked up my phone and answered the call, holding it up to my ear. “Hi?”

  “Lilly!” Rachel gasped. “Thank fuck you replied. I need your help. My parents are going crazy.”

  gayannabeth