Chapter 8 I'm a pervert

  Sweat is getting more and more, especially after everyone has calmed down, including myself. The forehead was almost covered with sweat in just a few seconds!

  Silence

  Zhou Xiao was frozen in place on stage.

  What's going on? Zhou Xiao was silent for a whole half minute on stage! Within that half minute, he didn't say a word, and nobody in the audience said anything either!

  Half a minute later, several people in the audience below suddenly burst out laughing: "This guy won't have forgotten his lines, will he?"

  "Are jokes over? With this level of skill, you dare to come and perform?"

  "Hey! Is there anything else?! If not, then go down and don't waste time!"

  "Exactly! Even those awkward jokes just now are fine!"

  The Japanese are very polite in formal settings, but as an audience, they can be quite harsh at times, especially when there is no cost to pay, and some people's words can be a bit over the top.

  Zhou Xiao certainly couldn't afford to quarrel with the audience below, his top priority at this moment was still how to get off the stage!

  Sweat trickled down his face and itched a bit, Zhou Xiao instinctively reached into the pocket of his pants to find something to wipe it with.

  The thing he touched with his fingers was very soft, and without thinking much, he took it out and wiped it on his forehead.

  Suddenly, Zhou Xiao stopped and seemed to remember what he was using to wipe his face.

  He relaxed his grip slightly and saw what was in his hand.

  That's right, it was a lace camisole that had drifted into her own window from who-knows-which household!

  "Hey, what's in this guy's hand...?"

  "How disgusting! Did he steal it? In that case, we should call the police!"

  "How can this guy go on stage? Quick, police, take him away!"

  So-called small theater, in the case of a ridiculously small space, performers on stage can do anything, and at least the first few rows of people below can see clearly. What Zhou Xiao took out may not be seen very clearly by others, but at least that lace was seen, what else can you usually see with lace?

  Then there's only little girls' underwear left!

  "Is this guy stealing or wearing his own?" For a moment, the audience's thoughts were divided into two.

  Japan is a nation with a very perverted tradition, where buying and wearing or stealing are almost the same in terms of perversion, the only difference being that one is illegal and the other is not.

  Is it saying that the explanation is from a window of one's own home and nobody knows whose house it fell from? ... Will anyone believe such a clumsy excuse?

  "Hahaha! What has this kid done?! Hahahaha!"

  On stage, Zhou Xiao stared blankly at the small underwear in his hand, while beside him, Sakaguchi was about to laugh hysterically backstage. He had never expected that Zhou Xiao would still complain that he wasn't dying fast enough and even pulled out something like this from his pocket. This time, he's definitely dead!

  Inosuke was completely stunned, this super expansion had exceeded his own system running limit, for a while, Inosuke was stunned there.

  On the stage, Zhou Xiao could only get worse, looking at the lace underwear in her hand and listening to the increasingly loud provocation and shouting from the audience below, Zhou Xiao forgot what she should do!

  "No way, I need to think of a solution! If I continue like this, forget about being a comedian, I might even end up in jail! And with this thing in my hand, once it attracts attention, some nosy police or journalist will go to my place and ask questions. By then, even if I want to explain that I picked it up outside the window, I won't be able to explain clearly!" Zhou Xiao felt like he was going crazy.

  "No, I must calm down now, I have to calm down!" Zhou Xiao desperately warned herself.

  Suddenly, his gaze left Xiao Nai's face.

  He turned to look at the audience below the stage.

  "That... as you've all seen, I'm a pervert." Zhou Xiao suddenly spoke up, and his first sentence left the entire audience, including Sakaguchi who was watching from the sidelines and Inoue who was still in shock, stunned.

  Who would suddenly admit to being abnormal?

  "So I always have this urge to put Xiaonei on my head." Zhou Xiao continued.

  "What?" The audience was even more surprised.

  But Zhou Xiao's tone when saying this was even stranger, his face was extremely serious and almost without a smile, as if he were telling everyone something very serious and normal.

  "After putting on the little underwear, my wish is to make the general public look very comfortable. However, if you casually wear your underwear on the street in everyday life, it will cause unnecessary trouble." Zhou Xiao continued to say.

  "This is no idle talk." The audience below muttered in their hearts.

  "And if it's not handled properly, it will also attract enemies, well, what is referred to as enemies are the police."

  "Hmph." Someone laughed out loud. Isn't this strange? Obviously a pervert, yet putting on an air of normalcy, and even treating the police as enemies.

  "So, today I want to teach everyone how to naturally put a beanie on their head in front of everyone! It's actually very simple!" said Zhou Xiao.

  "We don't want to learn anyway."

  "Go out onto the street and push the motorcycle out." Zhou Xiao said as he acted it out, pretending to be pushing a motorcycle.

  "After getting on the bike, turn the key to 'on', then..." Zhou Xiao first lifted one foot and stepped onto a non-existent motorcycle, then stretched out her hand in front of her as if she was about to ignite it, finally opening the small inner tube in her hand."

  "Then put it on like this... and that's it!" As she said this, Zhou Xiao seriously put the little inner wear on her own head!

  The small bow on the front of his helmet just happened to be right next to his mouth, and the two straps that were supposed to go under his legs at this time just happened to allow his eyes to see in the correct direction. At this moment... he really treated the helmet as if it were a motorcycle helmet!

  "Eh eh eh eh eh!!" The audience below let out a collective gasp, accompanied by scattered laughter.

  "It will be very natural then, and people around will think 'Ah, that's a safety helmet.' " Zhou Xiao said.

  "Hahaha." The laughter from the audience grew louder. So-called one-man talk show, in fact, is a performance by one person, usually playing the role of a fool in crosstalk or a comedian's straight man, while the role of a commentator and a heckler are usually completed in the minds of the audience. It can be said that one-man talk show is more difficult than two-man talk show at this point, because it has to reduce some of the comedic material while also putting more responsibility on the audience's understanding ability.

  "But there's one thing to note, and that is if you ride like this, you'll still get caught," said Zhou Xiao.

  "This isn't nonsense, is it?" The audience's faces mostly showed smiles, and at the same time, they also muttered to themselves.

  "You're breaking the law because you didn't wear a safety helmet!" Zhou Xiao continued to say with an air of righteousness.

  "Haha." This is another unreasonable point, and the audience will also laugh at this.

  "But wait a minute, this law thing, I think it's also a bit strange," said Zhou Xiao.

  "What?"

  "Laws that were made decades ago are still being used today!" Zhou Xiao exclaimed, gesturing emphatically with her hands as she spoke.

  "But crimes are becoming more varied and advanced every day!"

  "Pfft!" The audience below the stage couldn't help but burst out laughing, and those who hadn't laughed earlier were now even more unable to hold back. They mentally jeered: "You'd better take down that little inner wear on your head before saying such things!"

  "The previous law is powerless to punish the current crime!" Zhou Xiao's voice was extremely loud at this time, and with a firm gesture, if you didn't look at his head, you might think he was giving a lecture on preventing crime.

  "What kind of society has it become now with such results!?" Along with Zhou Xiao's rhetorical question, his words came to an end. The tone in which Zhou Xiao said this last rhetorical question was quite overbearing, as if he were interrogating someone.

  But the laughter from under the stage grew even louder, this time it could almost be called a burst of laughter.

  "There are a bunch of really, really weird guys around everyone!" Zhou Xiao said again, raising his hand.