Alexios

  Menzoberranzan - 153 Years Ago

  I kneel in absolute silence.

  Blue flames surround the Matron Mother’s chamber while the other Matrons lounge around her, draped in elaborate jewels.

  The Matron Mother rises from her throne ever so gracefully before descending the stairs towards me while her black gown flows across the stone floor.

  It makes me fucking sick.

  “You are truly a delight,” she purrs. “Your obedience has pleased even the most… challenging houses.”

  She stops before me, tilting my chin up with one of her fingers.

  “But I need more from you,” the Matron Mother adds.

  I refuse to speak. I’ve had enough of this.

  She smiles wickedly.

  “On your back,” comes her order. “Now.”

  When she realizes I haven’t moved yet, her smile falters.

  “I won’t ask again, Alexios.”

  I shake my head.

  “No,” I answer, red eyes glaring straight into her violet ones. “You won’t touch me again.”

  Gasps ripple through the chamber as her hand drops angrily from my chin. A few of the Matrons are looking away now, preparing for whatever fit comes from the Matron Mother’s lips.

  “You think you’re allowed even a sliver of pride here?” she snaps at me.

  I spit at her feet. The other Matrons rise angrily, but she raises her hand to silence them before turning to the guards.

  “Strip him, but don’t touch him too roughly. He is not to be bruised.”

  Hands reach down and tear at the puny fabric of clothing that hardly covers me at all. Before I realize it, I’m standing completely naked in the blue flames of this chamber.

  These women used to adore me… or at least what my body gave them.

  But now, they are waiting for my punishment.

  The Matron Mother steps forward again.

  “Since you enjoy being admired, you’ll be displayed.”

  “I’m already displayed,” I bite back. “You are horrible. All of you!”

  She turns to her housemaids as I thrash widely against the guards holding me in place.

  “Take him to the courtyard,” she orders. “Dress him in nothing but fragrance and oil. Any who wish to use him is permitted. Anyone. Alexios is for… indulgence tonight.”

  The cruelness of the Matrons’ laughter echoes throughout the room. I can do nothing but cry, hoping to whatever god may be watching that Nykky doesn’t see.

  --

  I’m taken to the courtyard, but this… “yard” is not the way I assume it is on the surface. It’s walled, covered in black glass with poisonous plants climbing around it. At the center is a pedestal.

  This is what I get for refusing.

  A slow break. A ritual humiliation.

  I tell myself that this is the better option. That these disgusting fucks will be too enamored by me to even think of touching him right now. My arms are stretched above my head as I’m lowered down, kept restraint by glowing silk. I am not to be bruised, as the Matron Mother said.

  Every inch of my body is exposed and glistening with scented oil. I look like a prize now, but as the guards pull at my legs, forcing me open, I know I’m anything but.

  I’m just a presentation now.

  Nobles enter in twos and threes, some drunk on wine while others are simply drunk with lust. I recognize a few of the men and women, even had the “opportunity” to pleasure them while the others only stared, but now…

  They don’t have to ask.

  As both men and women stroke, tease and kiss the insides of my thighs, I turn my head away, crying out for any god to send me salvation.

  No one answers.

  “The Matrons should have done this years ago,” someone hums.

  “He’s trembling, do you see it?” another says.

  When my eyes open again, I realize there’s someone standing just past the courtyard, unflinching and unmoving.

  Nykolai.

  My Nykky is watching, no doubt wrapped in a stolen cloak with his arms hidden in black linen. He sees my hips lift slightly when a housemaid licks my navel and something… splinters in him.

  He stumbles back from the wall, disappearing before the flames of a sconce can reveal him.

  --

  Time means nothing anymore.

  I don’t know how long I’ve been on this fucking pedestal.

  Hours? Days?

  Finally, my bindings are removed and I’m carried back to the servants’ quarters, still glistening and… leaking with shame. Even after the humiliation, my skin is unbruised. The Matrons would never want their precious gem scarred… but completely broken?

  It’s demanded.

  My limbs twitch from overexposure as I lie curled up in some corner of my room, but my train of thought is broken when I hear the door open.

  “Nykky…?” I ask quietly, voice barely above even a whisper.

  I turn my head slowly when I don’t get an answer. Nykky’s beautiful eyes are swollen from crying, but his mouth is furious.

  “Why in the gods did they put you there?” he demands. “Why, Alexios?!”

  Trying my best to sit up, my body fails me. He moves closer, wrapped arms hanging at his sides.

  “My love…”

  “Tell me!”

  I swallow painfully, turning away to hide my shame.

  “I…” I start, voice ruined and raw. “I talked back.”

  Eyes widening, his lips part.

  “You what…?”

  “The Matron Mother wanted me on my back,” I admit carefully. “I said no… and spit at her feet.”

  Nykky gasps and I meet his trembling eyes.

  “You… you stupid idiot!” he yells as tears stream down his face. “You are a fool of a man, Alexios.”

  Then he stumbles down beside me, pressing his head into my chest as he sobs.

  “I watched them touch you,” he chokes out bitterly. “You looked… so beautiful… and I wanted to kill everyone who touched you.”

  I close my eyes, begging for the memories of hands taking and pulling to stop.

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I didn’t want them to touch you again so I…”

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  Gods, my throat is fucking raw.

  “I hated it,” I continue, even as the words burn. “I hated every single moment. I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve your love. I don’t…”

  Before I can even get the rest of my thoughts out, Nykky lifts his head…

  And kisses me.

  I sigh, almost dreamily despite everything. I can’t help but get lost in his lips, his warmth, his gentleness.

  This isn’t for show. He doesn’t have a blade waiting behind my back.

  He’s real.

  Our love is real.

  --

  Nykky and I don’t speak about the punishment again. We don’t mention the courtyard or the tongues and hands that stole from me.

  What do we do instead?

  We begin stealing.

  Little things, sure. But the small luxuries do count, especially now.

  Somehow, a vial of rose oil left unattended in one of the Matron’s bathing area goes “missing”. Later on, a soft sponge from one of the visiting noble’s basket does too.

  A brass bowl meant for incense conveniently disappears along with a long, folded piece of silk which once rested over a table.

  When the servants’ quarters are quiet, I quietly lead Nykky into a half-collapses bathing area that I doubt anyone still knows exists. It’s taken more time than I’d like to admit, but a shallow basin waits, as full as I could get it with repeated trips from a nearby cave.

  Using what little magic I even know, I try my best to light a few candles I managed to steal too, but failing to light more than four.

  I can tell Nykky appreciates it anyway. He stays silent, but hi green eyes are shining with emotions. As I help him sit on the edge of the basin, I take in just how thin he is now.

  Nykky leans into me while I gently undo the black wraps around his arms.

  “Close your eyes, my love,” I whisper.

  Slowly, I start dabbing the sponge on his skin, beginning at his collarbones before moving down his chest.

  His breath comes out ragged so I press soft kisses to his cheek, wanting nothing more than to soothe him.

  “This feels…” Nykky rasps out. “I forgot what true warmth felt like.”

  Gods, how could anyone hurt him?

  How could anyone look at my Nykolai and want to see pain?

  I squeeze the sponge again to let the warm water move gently down his golden skin.

  “You stole all of this for me?” he asks, amazed.

  “They steal everything,” I answer back. “It was never truly theirs anyway.”

  As I continue washing him across his arms and back, I move to his thighs… and stop. He turns to me before brushing his nose against mine a few times.

  “It’s okay,” he breathes. “Please.”

  Continuing on hesitantly, I listen for any small sounds of discomfort, silently thanking the gods for him. I thank the gods for allowing me to bathe someone so sacred to me.

  A wood elf made of gold and music…

  And he’s all mine.

  Eventually the water cools so I pick him up, gently resting him on the folded silk I’ve laid out. Nykky’s damp curls fall loosely around his face like a crown. By the gods, he looks nothing short of holy.

  Kneeling down beside him, my fingertips trot carefully down his chest and over his ribs.

  “Alexios?”

  I see him swallow sharply.

  “Yes, my beautiful?”

  “Will you… will you make love to me?”

  His green eyes find mine in the low candlelight, shining not with lust… but with adoration.

  “Nykky…”

  “Alexios,” he answers surely. “I just want one single memory that hasn’t been tainted by those… those fucking bastards.”

  My eyes widen as I let out a surprised laugh. Never in my life did I think I’d hear words like that come from his mouth.

  I adore it. I adore him more than anything.

  “Lead me then, my love. I’ll follow.”

  Nykky exhales shakily as I lean down to leave a quiet kiss beside one of his eyebrows. When I move to kiss the corner of his mouth, he tilts his head so his lips can find mine instead. He allows me to kiss down his neck as I carefully let my hand hover over his waist, then his hip… and then his inner thigh.

  “No one’s ever… followed me before. You know how it is.”

  I nod, my heart entirely broken at the truth of his words.

  My lips find the scars on his chest while I trace the dip of his hip. His shuddering breaths sound like music and my entire focus shifts to only him and the way his lips parts.

  While settling between his thighs, Nykky watches me, those beautiful eyes of his half-closed.

  “Still okay?” I ask.

  He nods quickly.

  “I love you, Alexios. Please… let me feel all of you.”

  How could I ever say no to the love of my life?

  --

  Nykky rests beside me, both of us absolutely spent and gasping for air. I pull the stolen silk around our naked bodies before reaching down to find the place where his arms end.

  I kiss each one slowly.

  “I love you,” I whisper as tears drip onto the silk.

  He closes his eyes and lets those three words sink in deeply.

  “Say it again for me?”

  “I love you.”

  And again.

  “I love you.”

  And again.

  “I love you more than anything in this world.”

  My sweet Nykky, in all his overwhelmed beauty, cries softly.

  “We can’t stay here forever.

  “I know.”

  I don’t know what else I can say, but I know it’s true. We can’t.

  “They’ll catch on eventually,” he adds in. “They’ll figure out about the things you’ve stolen and the time we take for ourselves.”

  “I know,” I repeat.

  He moves closer to me, ruined arms resting gently on my chest.

  “We need to run… and if we’re going to run, we can’t just try. It’s not enough. We need to succeed, Alexios. We owe it to our future, do we not?”

  I nod slowly as my heart begins to beat wildly. When Nykky lifts his head, I see something looking back at me that I don’t think I’ve ever truly seen before in his eyes.

  Passion.

  Fire.

  Rage.

  Power.

  “What if one of the lower tunnels could lead us towards a collapsed mining shaft?” he continues.

  “They collapsed the old ones on purpose,” I note. “To keep us from using them.”

  “I can still feel air from a few of them meaning they didn’t seal all of them, Alexios. Even in the lower halls where the Matrons herd us. It means something’s still open!”

  “You’re serious.”

  “I’ve never been more serious.”

  I’m left almost speechless. Could our escape really be possible?

  His handless arms tremble so I reach for one, cradling it gently.

  “Nykky, we don’t have weapons. We don’t have coin or allies. We have nothing except each other.”

  “I don’t need anything else,” he says.

  I move to kiss him immediately, my fingertips brushing away tears as they fall down his face.

  “I can count the guards,” Nykky mentions. “I’ve had nothing else to do down here but listen when the Matrons aren’t hollowing me out more. I know their patterns.”

  “Then let me handle any locks,” I whisper. “I think I can pick them. Maybe. I don’t know. Let me try anyway.”

  He nods slowly and our plan begins to take shape.

  “We’ll need distractions to do this. I know where they keep the flammable oils.”

  My eyes widen.

  “You… what?”

  “Some of them like to play with fire. Every now and then, I’d… perform with it.”

  We both fall quiet as Nykky leans into me again, leaving gentle kisses on my collarbones.

  “Alexios?”

  “Mm-hmm?”

  “I want them to know. When we walk out of this damn place, I refuse to look back even for a second.”

  Gods, I’m in love with him.

  In this sacred moment, I know exactly when I’ll do when he sees the surface again and I see it for the first time.

  I’ll marry him.

  I’ll go to the ends of the world to give him whatever he wants. A big house, fancy clothes, journeys to wherever he wants to go.

  Maybe even a fucking cat or two if that’s what he wants.

  --

  The days that follow are made normal, of course.

  But only to them.

  I let the housemaids paint my lips and oil my skin until it shines like the finest of diamonds. I moan when they expect it and arch my back as they command it.

  The Matron Mother believes I’m hers again, but I’m watching out for every step and every door.

  Nykky returns to playing as the obedient “thing” they’ve trained him to be. He lets them speak over him, keeping his head bowed and his body completely still. Even lets them pet him like an animal.

  I despise it.

  But I know behind his eyes, rage is burning brighter than ever.

  When we share looks across the pleasure chambers, it’s just a simply flick of the eyes to signal when a key changes hands or even a door is left ajar. Each soft sigh of his is a signal that a guard has changed posts.

  Our thievery increases.

  Still small things that no one else would possibly care about.

  A shard of bone for a makeshift weapon that’s been tucked into the hem of my robe after I “accompanied” a Matron for her bath. It’s small and strong enough to even pick a lock if I have time.

  A week later, I find a folded map detailing sketches of the underground hallways. I try my best to memorize it and then burn it immediately, scattering the ashes in the urns so there’s no evidence. Another sharpened bone stays hidden in my boot.

  We try our best not to fully interact with each other around the Matrons now, but in the quiet hours after our bodies are sore and whatever filthy bodily fluids have dried on our skin, we hold each other tightly.

  The Matrons think Nykky is fully broken now, but I’ve watched him lift a shard of glass with his damn teeth and hide it in the sole of his shoe.

  I’ve even heard him sing again. It was only once and for me and I know for certain he has never truly been broken and hollowed out.

  --

  A few nights later, we lay side by side with our fingers laced together, our glowing pool we’ve snuck out to night after night making the crystals of Menzoberranzan shimmer across the cave’s mouth.

  “Are you afraid?” I ask.

  Nykky smiles, his eyes closed as a rare glimpse of peace settles over him.

  “I was until I remembered what lies before us on the surface.”

  He turns towards me and presses his lips to mine, biting my bottom lip as my body rolls on top of his. His soft moan is a lullaby all on its own.

  “Again,” he breathes out, laughing softly.

  I kiss him again as my fingertips trail down his small waist, his legs shifting open to invite me in closer.

  Nykky breaks the kiss with his chest heaving.

  “If something happens… if you get out and I don’t…”

  “No.”

  “Alexios, you don’t even know what I…”

  “I don’t fucking care. We’re getting out of here.”

  He stares at me, eyes wide and gleaming. Just as beautiful as the day I met him.

  “Marry me, Alexios.”

  I nod instantly.

  “Absolutely, I will. I do.”

  He kisses me again, lips and tongues moving against each other like this is enough to set a vow.

  “Tomorrow,” I say as I pull away. “We’ll set this place on fire.”

  Just as I lean down to press my lips to his warm neck, a blast tears through the cave, sending fractured stones sailing into the air around us. The time we have stolen has finally been revealed to the Matrons and I know we will have to answer for it with our blood and bodies.

  I reach for Nykky as another explosion lands near us, my eyes scanning for the Matrons in the distance, but…

  I see no one.

  “Does this cave lead anywhere?!” I yell out to Nykky.

  His eyes move frantically between me and the cave, chest rising and falling in panic.

  “I… I don’t…”

  “Nykky, please!”

  “No!” he yells back. “No, it’s been sealed off too. We have to run. Now!”

  With no cave exit looking possible, I grab his bandaged arm and pull him along as we break into a sprint. If we can just make it back to the courtyard, the Matrons will step in. The guards will step in.

  Someone will fucking step in.

  Right?

  We flee, tearing through the grounds as our lungs burn like fire until I see the towers of House Baenre rising. It’s right there.

  Another explosion rings out right behind us and the shockwave of it slams into my back, hurling me forward. I lose my grip on Nykky as the blast rips us in opposite directions.

  I hear him cry out when I hit the ground, vision exploding into white as searing pain flows through my body. Immediately, my mind is on finding Nykky as I claw myself up, gasping out in agony.

  I can’t find him.

  Gods, I can’t find him.

  Staggering to my feet, I expect to see the Matron Mother’s wicked silhouette step through the smoke. I force myself to stand tall despite the blood running down my forehead and into my eyes.

  I tell myself I’ll take every bit of blame for this. I’ll do whatever she asks of me. I’ll stand here and let her tear into me if it means Nykky won’t be touched. I’ll fuck her like she wants until my body gives out.

  Yes… that’s what I’ll do.

  But when I look through the smoke, what I see is not the Matron Mother or even one of House Baenre’s guards.

  Men with faces hidden behind masks move through the smoke with their weapons already drawn. I realize now that the chaos around us is nothing more than a cover for them.

  I don’t know who they are, but this?

  This is no accident.