I'm blind, but I can still see. I'm deaf, but I can still hear. I'm dead, but I can still feel. When I died on the pier at Armando's hands, a strange sensation washed over me. I wouldn't know how to explain it, but it felt pretty good—intoxicating, even. I felt no fear or worry, just... existence. I had no sensation anywhere in my body, but I was still aware that my presence was in some odd place.

  Everything was an absolute white. Voices around me babbled in a completely foreign language. I tried to form a word, but my lips were sealed.

  Though I couldn't understand them, those voices seemed to be arguing about something.

  Their shouts echoed like sounds in a cave. Shouts that grew louder and louder. I could feel the disappointment and frustration in their tones.

  *What are they saying? What's going on?* I thought.

  Strange silhouettes stared at me intently. Even though there was no color in this place, I could sense their presences.

  Before I could react, a massive force yanked me. Disorienting me completely.

  ?──────────────────???──────────────────?

  With the sound of rain came the smell of gasoline and wet earth. Footsteps on cracked asphalt drummed like beats, and neon lights glowing incandescently blurred quickly through the rain-streaked window. Voices that felt familiar chatted happily in front of me. I'd lived this scene before, but I couldn't quite remember it.

  "What do you want to eat today?" a female voice asked.

  The woman with wavy hair spoke with a slight shyness in her voice, but firm enough to make me feel safe just hearing her words. The warmth in her tone brought a tranquility and nostalgia I didn't recall.

  And a middle-aged man, slim with gray streaks in his brown hair, drove the car cautiously because of the rain. A man whose slightly hunched back made me feel protected for some reason. Someone whose presence I admired and respected.

  "Chicken stew would be good, honey. I like how you make it," he replied, his voice tired and raspy.

  "Then stew it is. We'll stop at a market to buy tomatoes and onions—we're out at home."

  That casual chat between the married couple continued for several minutes. I don't know how to explain it, but those people... I think I've seen them before.

  For some reason, my heart ached hearing them talk. Like someone was pressing a huge mallet against my chest, and I couldn't resist it at all.

  "Ethan, want me to buy you a cookie?"

  "I want ice cream! Ice cream, Mom!"

  "Alright, I'll get you ice cream."

  Melancholy overwhelmed me reliving this scene. So much that I could cry.

  They were my parents. It had been so long that I barely remembered their faces and how they spoke. I was so small back then that I hardly recognize myself. If little Ethan saw me now, he'd probably cry in disappointment...

  The joy I felt reuniting with my family faded as fragments of my memory resurfaced like fire from ashes.

  Fear gripped me when I remembered how it all ended.

  A blinding light appeared suddenly at our side, followed by a horrific screech of tires and a deafening horn.

  My dad made a sharp maneuver to save us, but... the car flipped violently.

  I squeezed my eyes shut tight, not wanting to see that terrible scene again.

  When I opened them, I felt the weight of a foot pressing on my head. When someone yanked me up, I saw several cops near an alley arresting a hooded guy.

  That was the time I got busted for selling drugs.

  One of the cops punched me in the face, and when I could open my eyes again, I was inside a house.

  I looked around and saw a man crying in front of me, hands over his head. When I realized what was happening, it was too late to stop; my finger squeezed the trigger.

  When I blinked, I was on the pier with Armando and others pointing at me.

  Even though I turned and started running, I felt the indescribable pain of bullets slamming into my back, piercing my lungs and shattering my ribs.

  All those scenes replayed in my head over and over at high speed, creating total chaos in my mind.

  I felt like I was being punished.

  My eyes snapped open, unable to endure the torment any longer.

  Lying on the ground, I was surrounded by massive trees, a blazing sun overhead, and the whisper of wind against leaves.

  Drenched in sweat with tense muscles, I struggled to my feet. My head throbbed, and my ragged breathing made it hard to stay upright. In disbelief, I scanned my surroundings, searching for something.

  Though I didn't know exactly what I expected to find. Maybe an answer to my bizarre location.

  I'd seen my life flash before my eyes. I always thought it was absurd rumors people made up, but now I can say it's all true.

  And I can't say I'm happy with the decisions I made, but that's not important now.

  I need to know where I am and what I'm doing here.

  I'm confused—very confused. I was lying on the pier, about to die. Then those strange silhouettes, and now this.

  What could it be...?

  My brain was chaos. I tried to find an explanation, but every answer seemed ridiculous.

  *Paradise...*

  That word looped in my head like a scratched record. After witnessing all that, it was the only logical explanation. But no... I doubt a bastard like me is that lucky.

  I shook my head to dismiss those silly ideas.

  It was absurd to think that after everything I'd done, I'd end up in heaven. That just regret was enough to forgive a lifetime of sins.

  There has to be more to it. Maybe it's another dream. A pretty damn real one, though.

  I pinched my cheek to wake up, like I'd seen on TV sometimes.

  It didn't work. Beyond the pain, there was no sudden change.

  I brought my hands to my face and sighed.

  Now that I'm here, I have to find help somehow. Standing still burning my brain on fanciful thoughts won't help.

  When I took a step forward, my foot hit something hard as rock, so I stopped immediately. I looked down, and my eyes caught a metallic object with a rusted surface from years of wear.

  Terrified, I backed away, heart in my throat.

  Flashbacks of Thomas's murder hit me unexpectedly. For brief moments, I heard the deafening crack of the gun firing and the gruesome crunch of the bullet tearing through his head.

  I clenched my teeth hard until it hurt, and my hands started shaking uncontrollably.

  Breathing deeply, I leaned on my knees to calm down.

  If I thought for a second this place could be paradise, that idea vanished when I saw that revolver had come with me after death.

  I couldn't have peace if that thing was here to torment me.

  Blinded by hatred clouding my judgment, I grabbed the gun and hurled it with all my strength toward the nearest tree. It vanished into the bushes.

  "Go to hell!" I shouted in rage.

  *Why the fuck is that shit here? Damn it!* I cursed inwardly.

  I immediately left the spot, starting my trek through these strange lands.

  I felt disappointed—or maybe offended. I wouldn't know how to express it, but seeing that revolver lying beside me like it was an important part of me pissed me off. And I knew those murmuring silhouettes were responsible. If I ever run into them, I'll have a few words.

  ?──────────────────???──────────────────?

  I don't know how much time passed, but I've been walking for a while, crossing rough terrain and skirting rocks the size of small cars. All I've seen are trees and knee-high grass.

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  I need a strategy to survive instead of wandering like an idiot.

  I stop my steps. Crossing my arms, I start reflecting and try to focus.

  There was a show that aired every weekend on TV that I watched when I had nothing to do—which was most of the time, but that's not important now. The point is, that TV show was about wilderness survival.

  They shared tricks for surviving in harsh places and other useful tips that could come in handy now.

  I just have to remember that host's words. I need to...

  "Alright... I need to get my bearings first. And the best in these cases is to head north..."

  Talking to myself, I look up and try to recall where the sun rises and sets. That way, I'll know which direction to take.

  The sun blazed in the clear sky like a huge bulb lighting the earth. I can guess from its position that it's noon, but that complicates things. How can I tell where it rises and sets if it's right overhead? Do I have to wait for it to move?

  That would take hours.

  I need to calm down and breathe...

  If I can't orient by the sun, then I have to find food and water. Making the most of time is key in these situations.

  I kept moving while thinking about what my prey would be.

  I have no weapons to hunt something big like a deer, and that piece-of-shit revolver doesn't count. Anyway, the damn thing didn't even work when I tried to defend myself from Armando and his thugs.

  No point going back for it.

  So, something small like a rabbit is my most viable option.

  But how the hell do I find one?

  I sighed in disappointment.

  I can't get discouraged. I have to think positive. Everything will be fine.

  I picked up some small stones along the way to use as projectiles. If I spot a rabbit or any small animal by chance, these will help catch it.

  I sharpened my senses and advanced cautiously. Watching every corner and suspicious movement that might give away my prey.

  Unfortunately, I found nothing, and my eyes were starting to tire. But just as I was about to give up, I heard rustling in the underbrush in front of me.

  The leaves shook intensely.

  I froze, crouching and hiding my figure in the tall grass.

  I waited patiently.

  From those bushes emerged a small animal. It was strange—long, pointed ears, and a sharp tip protruded from its head. Like a tiny horn.

  I didn't understand what I was looking at, but that didn't matter much. I had the opportunity and had to take it. No questioning the creature's appearance.

  Gripping a stone in my dominant hand, I waited for it to unwittingly turn its back.

  It was the moment.

  I held my breath, pulled my arm back, and lined up my aim.

  The pine scent, the wind blowing subtly with leaves and plants swaying to its rhythm, made this an ideal hunting scene. I felt like a veteran hunter capturing prey with elegance, delicacy, and efficiency.

  About to release the pebble, my arm halted mid-motion when I heard nearby the crack of twigs snapping. Which alerted my target.

  Turning to look, another of those strange squirrels burst out suddenly.

  Unfortunately, due to the commotion, the animal fled in terror just as I was about to resume my attack.

  Desperate, I hurled the projectile hoping to hit it, but it missed. I watched sadly and angrily as my meal ran into the forest.

  "What the fuck..." I whispered in frustration.

  I dropped the other stones I was carrying. It was clear I wasn't eating today.

  I backtracked, disappointed. Muttering curses under my breath.

  I kept wandering aimlessly, the sun burning my skin and sweat soaking me. Seconds later, a repulsive stench hit my nose. I looked down and realized my shirt was covered in blood.

  I knew immediately whose it was.

  I imagined my back was just as gross, since that's where the bullets exploded when that guy killed me.

  Now I had a new worry: making up a lie for when I run into someone.

  I'd look suspicious emerging from the woods covered in blood. People who find me would think the worst.

  Hours passed, and with the sun slowly descending, I finally got my bearings. I followed what I think is north. But I was terribly hungry. I barely had strength to continue.

  If I can't find water or food, next is shelter and fire.

  With teary eyes, I shook my head to clear my mind. I was on the verge of collapse.

  "This is bullshit..." I muttered to the wind while wiping a salty drop from my eye.

  I rummaged through trees to gather dry branches and stones for an improvised campfire. Since dusk was approaching, I had to hurry. Being lost in a forest is bad enough during the day, and much worse if darkness catches me.

  After a while with enough materials, I quickly found a flatter spot to build the fire.

  "How did this go again...?"

  Sitting on the ground, I formed a circle with the rocks and, holding thin wooden sticks in both hands, started rubbing them together.

  Suddenly, the sky turned a deep orange, and soon stars became visible, along with a silver moon peeking through blackened clouds.

  I kept rubbing hard as desperation and impatience overwhelmed me.

  Night had fallen, and I still hadn't seen a single spark to start the fire.

  With my hands sore and red from the effort, I clenched my teeth while frowning in rage.

  "Please... Please..." The anguish was palpable. "Please! Please!"

  All I got were scrapes on my hands and wasted time.

  "Argh!" I yelled in exasperation.

  I threw the things into the air in anger. I couldn't believe I was so useless even at making fire.

  I covered my face with my hands, letting out tears of helplessness.

  My stomach burned horribly, and my throat was so dry I could taste the dust in my mouth. If this really was hell and I was being punished, I wished it would stop right now.

  Dying from bullet wounds is one thing, but starving or thirsting to death is another level of torture. I was at my limit. I couldn't take this anymore.

  I don't know where the fuck I am, but I want to leave already.

  The moon shone dimly overhead, and cold air made me shiver like jelly.

  With leaves falling from the treetops, the distant hoot of owls, and the buzz of insects, I collapsed onto the dusty ground. As I settled to sleep, the iron stench hit my nose, bothering me.

  ?──────────────────???──────────────────?

  A new day begins. Golden rays filter through the branches and leaves of the massive trees as birds take flight energetically.

  The scent of grass and pine perfumes the air.

  Writhing in discomfort and gut pain, I sit up from my spot. With eye gunk, I stare at the hell I'm still in.

  I had a vague hope of waking up somewhere else, but sadly, no.

  I stand with a sense of defeat on my back and little enthusiasm, starting to walk in any direction. As I march toward nothing, I rub my fingers in my eyes to clear the overnight crust.

  Yesterday was a shit day, but as the saying goes: "Life's hope returns every morning with the sun." Or something I heard somewhere. Doesn't matter.

  I think today will be the same or worse. But there's some hope if everything goes wrong today.

  A pessimistic idea formed in my head yesterday while cursing all the saints for my situation.

  If I can't find food or water, the best way to speed up my death is to use that revolver I threw away. Honestly, I'd prefer suicide over suffering another day in this damn place.

  But I'm not sure I'd go through with it. Anyway, time will tell.

  For now, I'll keep wandering a bit. If I find nothing, I'll backtrack and... do it. I swear to God I will.

  As I advanced, a wave of chaotic thoughts crashed over me.

  *What if I never find anyone? If I die now, where will I go this time?*

  Those and more questions weighed on me as minutes passed, along with the fierce roar of my stomach begging for something edible.

  I snorted hard and quickened my pace.

  I just remembered food isn't just meat; it's also fruits.

  Euphoric, I looked up, starting to search among the tree branches for that forbidden fruit. I also slipped through bushes for sweet berries. My mistake was thinking I needed to hunt to eat.

  My revolutionary idea bore fruit, literally. I stumbled on small berries in red and blue tones. I couldn't hold back anymore, so I lunged at the bush.

  I grinned ear to ear. The sweetness of this fruit was so magnificent that, for a moment, I tasted Eden.

  I was really glad for this discovery.

  I spent several minutes devouring them, and though they didn't fill me up, it was enough to renew my strength.

  Looks like I was wrong. Things might improve today, but I'm still lost in the middle of nowhere. And while I can't survive on wild berries forever, this food gives me enough energy and spirits to continue.

  There's still hope for me. I just have to stay positive. In better spirits, I resumed my trek, not forgetting to pocket more berries to munch on the way. Now that I have something in my stomach, it's time to think of a better solution to my problem.

  If I keep heading north, sooner or later I'll leave this forest. I'm sure.

  I wandered for hours; the food ran out, but not my perseverance. Plus, if I needed more, I'd just search bushes. It was a pleasant surprise to learn this forest is full of wild berries. I was too dramatic, and I feel ridiculous about it.

  With tired feet, I stopped my march for a moment to catch my breath. While scanning around skeptically, a brief flash caught my eye. It lasted seconds, but long enough to know where it came from.

  Weirded out by the event, I followed the trail of that strange light. Its glow intensified as I approached the source.

  My eyes widened like saucers, and my pupils gleamed. My head couldn't process the miracle I was witnessing. Excited, I dunked my whole head into the crystal-clear water.

  I'd found a small lake in this desolate place. The water was so transparent it looked like a giant mirror laid on the earth. Incredible.

  I kept my head submerged for a good while, gulping down as much liquid as my belly could hold. Though the water had no taste, I can say it was better than anything I'd ever tried.

  I surfaced when I couldn't hold my breath anymore.

  I lacked words to express how happy I felt. Without a doubt, today Lady Fortune is on my side.

  After a moment, I decided to strip and bathe; the stench I gave off could make me dizzy. As I let the lake's current carry my body, I looked at the clouds and reflected on my situation. I'd been through so much that... it's hard to believe I'm still alive. Really.

  I have so many questions I could fill a whole page with the doubts gnawing at me.

  It's funny, but last night I dreamed I was in a hospital coma. That by some miracle, I survived.

  Maybe that's it? I'm lying on a gurney, deep asleep, and all this is my imagination.

  If so, I'm screwed. If I wake up at any moment, I won't have money to pay for recovery. Which would make me jump out the window to die for good and escape the debt.

  I laughed foolishly at that crazy possibility, then let my eyelids drop. A tranquility I'd never felt embraced me.

  I can't stop thinking about all the bad decisions I made before. But if my trip to this strange place means a new chance for me, I'll take it. If I manage to survive, that is.

  What a difference. Yesterday I was so depressed, and now I feel so full of life... I'm even grinning like an idiot right now.

  In the end, things did improve. It's a good sign.

  I have to get out of here before my luck runs out.

  I immediately climbed out of the water and got dressed again. Even though these clothes stink like the devil, it's all I have.

  As I finished putting on my shirt, I suddenly heard, in the distance, a flock of birds shooting into the sky. As if something had scared them. That's when I heard a sharp, terrifying screech not far from where I was.

  I can't explain my behavior, but after hearing that howl, I decided to venture into the forest to investigate. Though the sensible thing would be to run away, my legs seemed to move on their own.

  Scared and alert, I moved through the underbrush, careful not to alert whatever was in the depths.

  The screeches stopped, but a roar echoed strongly in the air. When I tried to back off, it was too late. I saw a beast that wasn't of this world. Horrifying in appearance, it had four legs and was the size of a small truck.

  It looked like a tree had come to life and turned into that monstrous thing.

  That monster hadn't noticed me yet. Whatever it was, it was focused on devouring an animal.

  Cold sweat ran down my back, and my breathing hitched.

  I definitely had to get away, or I'd be next.

  I took a step back, but the snap of a twig cracking made my heart nearly leap out of my chest. Instinctively, I hid behind a tree and prayed—to God and all the saints—that thing wouldn't see me.

  I held my breath and looked at the sky. A chill invaded me, and my chest pounded like it had a drum inside.

  That thing... I felt it turning toward me. I heard it dragging itself to my position.

  *Please! Please! Please!* I begged inwardly.

  A sepulchral silence ruled the air. I squeezed my eyes shut so hard that tears cascaded out.

  Those were the longest seconds of my life. I opened my eyelids when I felt enough time had passed and I no longer heard the monster. But I was wrong. Not only was the monster still there, it was right beside me. Watching me.

  Where its eyes should have been, there were only empty sockets. Its interior was as black as an abyss. This creature seemed soulless.

  I screamed in terror and fell to the ground. My legs wouldn't respond. I was paralyzed by fear.

  When I thought I'd be devoured, the monster roared with fury, snapping me out of the shock. Determined, I bolted with all my strength, but moments later, I was intercepted by the beast. With a fierce swipe, it struck me with such force that my body flew through the air.

  Crashing brutally onto the rocky ground, all the air escaped my lungs, making breathing impossible.

  With several broken bones and on the verge of unconsciousness, I watched as that creature approached me with a murderous aura.

  "Help! HELP!"

  Trying to gather oxygen, my torso expanded grotesquely.

  I started seeing double and hearing sounds distorted. I was on the brink of death again.

  I couldn't believe it. Fortune hadn't just abandoned me; it had cursed me. I was about to have a horrible end.

  All that suffering I'd endured—what for? Was I the joke of beings whose existence I couldn't understand?

  My surroundings fell silent, and my eyelids grew heavy. It was clear no miracle would save my ass again.