The fire raged throughout the library, but James knew it wouldn’t last. Fire in this world didn’t have the same physics as it did on Earth — at least, not magical fire. He’d learned that lesson against the goblins, when his fireballs didn’t engulf the entire field of grass.

  As the flames died down, though, there was a resounding chime, and the light changed.

  James looked around. What was different?

  Inara clocked it first. Her turn began, and she immediately sprinted, not toward the boss but toward the wall of books — or what remained. Full shelves had burned away to reveal a ruin glowing black on the wall. It oozed with evil intent. She didn’t know what it was, but it was clear enough that it was bad news.

  She was two thirds of the way there when her turn ended. The damn room was just too big, and her agility was just too low.

  Desiree followed her mother’s lead. A second sigil was partially revealed on the opposite wall. On its own, Desiree wouldn’t have thought it meant anything, but with the reveal of the sigil on Inara’s side, she recognized it as something important.

  Virgil recognized the sigils immediately. When it was finally his turn, he shouted for all to hear, “Those sigils are part of a Lexographic Binding spell! If you can disrupt the sigils, you can weaken the Librarian and remove the Alphabetize curse!” Inara and Desiree were both on their way to disrupt the sigils regardless, but he couldn’t be sure that they would be able to remove them completely. Besides, there could be more than just the two.

  “Cite Source,” he intoned, and then fired off the names of texts and authors who had written discourse about the various application sof Lexographic Binding. It was a useful avenue of spell casting, particularly for scholars, so in his university days, Virgil had spent a great deal of time familiarizing himself with the subject.

  And now, on his next turn, he’d be ready with Counter Theory if the Librarian had any more tricks up his sleeve. That damn Alphabetization curse was really controlling the flow of battle.

  Enemy Turn!

  The Librarian didn’t let up. “Inkstorm!” Ink rose up from the books that were scattered on the floor from the previous turn. Individual letters and scrawled, connected words kept their shape as they darted through the air like needles.

  Inara’s health dropped lower and lower, and James kicked himself as he ducked an errant paragraph. Everyone else was making do; the words didn’t do much damage individually, and when they clustered into a paragraph or a page they weren’t so difficult to dodge, but there were so many that it was impossible to avoid them all.

  The Librarian was enraged. “Footnote Mark!” He locked eyes with James when he cast the spell, and suddenly each of the words he’d already dodged came flying right back for another go.

  He tried to duck away, but he was too surprised and missed the timing. A hand-drawn map slapped him in the face, and he lost a good fifteen points of health.

  Your turn!

  James checked his skill list and swore. Next up was Immobile, which would be useless in combat and worse as a defense. Mana Bolt was after that, which would obvious be useful… but he couldn’t afford to wait.

  He hefted his axe, and infernal energy sung in his veins. Battle Axe was a nice skill, but he’d been in combat without it for long enough that he knew it wasn’t strictly necessary. The best he could do for the party was as much damage as possible, and right now, that meant rushing the boss.

  The Hero let out a guttural roar and charged. He raised the axe as he went, and only at the last minute did he let it drop with all the force of gravity and momentum and STR. The blade carved into the Librarian’s chest, cleaved straight through his scholarly robes and pale flesh.

  James’s axe drank deeply of the Librarian’s blood, and he could hear its bloodlust like a voice in his head, clamoring for more.

  Then his turn was over, and the Librarian’s clothes and body were restored to their unbroken state. The only difference was the boss’s health bar, which fell nearly to half.

  James couldn’t believe it. If anything, he should have been able to one-hit the boss. After all, thanks to his Hero class, his stats were as high as a normal person at level 80. This boss should only be 25 or 30, so it should have been an easy fight.

  Or maybe… dungeon bosses were just that tough, and his high level was the only reason his party stood a chance with such low numbers.

  There was a bright flash of light and a sharp, keening sound. Inara slashed at the sigil on the wall with her scythe, and the golden light from the Holy Imbuement flashed brighter every time it hit against the infernal rune. It took four swipes with her scythe, and then the rune visibly cracked, screeching, and fell to dust.

  If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.

  Inara panted. Her skin was smeared with dust and ash. Her scythe hung low in her grip. She looked every inch the powerful warrior… but James was becoming painfully aware of how her stats were holding her back. They needed to find a way to restore her class, whatever it took.

  Inara’s clock ran out, and Desiree continued her own sprint to the wall, her staff glowing just as golden as Inara’s scythe. Her first strike weakened the sigil, and her second finished the job. It, too, shrieked and fell to dust.

  Party members Desiree and Inara are no longer experiencing the effects of Alphabetize.

  Virgil, still constrained by the curse, hoped for the best. “Dissertation.”

  An enormous scroll popped into existence before him and unfurled, the length of it rolling out over the marble floor. James could see lines and lines of calligraphy text, but it was too far for him to make any of it out.

  “Your argument,” Virgil read, his voice tight, “collapses under basic scrutiny. Exhibit A — your sigils. The first two were positioned symmetrically. That’s a strong start, however based on the remaining strength of your Lexographic Binding, and due to the structural restraints therein, it is clear to me that there is only one sigil remaining in this room.

  “Furthermore, Desiree and Inara are free of your binding, which can only mean that they are no longer in line with the remaining sigil, whereas James and I are.”

  His turn was quickly coming to a close, so Virgil began to speak faster, and as a result, louder.

  “Therefore, the third sigil must be painted on the back of your chair!”

  The scrolled exploded. Red text wrapped around the librarian like chains, this time in font large enough to read.

  Lacking in organizational merit.

  The text glowed brightly, horrifying the Librarian with its humiliating clarity, then sank into his skin and knocked his HP down to half.

  James wanted to cheer. That was weird magic, but he wasn’t going to complain about something that worked.

  Enemy turn!

  The notification flashed, but the Librarian’s timer didn’t start. Instead of attacking, he brushed dirt from his shoulder and glared at Virgil with such disdain that even James recoiled.

  “I should have stopped you the moment you started looking into infernal magic and the veil between realms,” the Librarian said. “You were our undoing. It was your hateful quest that brought the demons to our doorstep and ruined us all.”

  Virgil stammered a denial. “It wasn’t— It wasn’t me that did that!”

  James’s heart went out to him. The poor guy was being used by the dungeon to fuel a narrative about the First Demon King. How terrifying it must be to be facing down these accusations, unable to remember who he really was but knowing, at the very least, that he wasn’t that.

  It’d be like if James lost his memory and suddenly people started accusing him of being literal Hitler. He shuddered at the thought.

  The Librarian shook his head. “This library used to be such a haven for the scholars of Grimora. It should never have become a home for goblins, and for that… I’ll kill you.”

  His timer flashed and started up again, just as he yelled, “Dewey Decimate!”

  Thousands of pages shot from the Librarian’s sleeves. They flew in all directions, burying every single party member in a mountain of paper and papercuts.

  “Shit!” James covered his face with his hands, but there was little more he could do. His armor held up well against the attack, but his hands and neck were already bleeding from a thousand cuts.

  He checked on the rest of his party. Mostly they were holding up well, but Inara really wouldn’t survive another turn.

  You’ve been Categorized! Your skills may only be used in a Historical context!

  What. The fuck? James blinked at the notification. What did that even mean? Was it a word game? A mind game?

  Your turn!

  The next skill on his list was still Immobile anyway, which was completely useless in battle.

  His eyes locked on the Librarian’s chair. It was only a couple steps away, and destroying the final sigil would at least remove the Alphabetize curse.

  James didn’t waste any more time thinking about it. He rushed forward, bypassing the Librarian entirely, and swung his axe against the chair. The infernal blade slowed for a moment against the sigil, like it was passing through molasses, but then he was through and it dissolved into dust.

  You have broken the Alphabetize curse! +10,000 EXP!

  Not only did the curse lift, but breaking the final sigil let out a black shockwave — some kind of magical whiplash? — that knocked the wind out of the Librarian and dealt a huge chunk of damage.

  The Librarian is enraged!

  James scoffed. As if that was anything new. He whirled around and struck the Librarian in the stomach with the blade of his axe. The bloodthirsty axe sang as it drank once more from the Librarian’s blood. James locked eyes with his enemy; he saw the tattoos around the Librarian’s neck drain away like they were liquified, and they were sucked into his axe.

  He blinked. Was that— Did he just imagine that?

  And then his turn was over, and the Librarian, nearly dead now, stood tall.

  Inara’s turn was next, but there was little she could do. She was too far to attack, and she was too wounded to survive on her own. She ran towards the center of the room and positioned herself closer, at least, to James and Virgil.

  James gritted his teeth. He wanted her out of danger, not closer to it.

  “Sanctified Bolt!” Desiree stood with her staff held out, pointed straight at the Librarian. A gold bolt of light beamed out of her staff and straight into the Librarian’s chest.

  Critical hit!

  They were so close, now. The Librarian’s health bar held only the barest sliver of red.

  Virgil barely whispered the name of his skill. “Hellflame Bolt.”

  Black flames defied physics. They shot from his fingertips and into the eyes of the Librarian, who screamed and convulsed like it was an electric shock.

  “Curse…you…Demon…King!”

  The boss exhaled his last breath. His whole body pulsed once with black light, and then he disintegrated into dust. A single grimoire thudded to the floor where he’d stood.

  You have defeated level 32 Librarian! EXP +35,000!

  Level up!