I’ve had a good run with Visage. Hanging with my idols! Buying hot merch! Thousands of adoring fans spamming chat with emotes! I got to play Magic with Memento, got to meet the Twilight Sisters, got to chow down with Kira and Sweet. It’s been fun. In a perfect world, I’ll get to keep doing what I’ve been doing for days and weeks and maybe even months.

  Or they’ll fire me from the company right before Radiance blasts me off the tower. That’s also a possibility, given what I’m about to do.

  I text Ferromancer the signal and get confirmation that she’ll be watching. Good. Now, once I start the stream, nobody at Visage will be able to take it down. I text my friends next, telling them not to bother moderating this stream. In fact, they should stay out of chat entirely.

  Stream open. The screen says it’s starting soon, with a cute chibi Archon designed by Visage’s artists. I throw up links on all the social media accounts I have access to, then start the countdown. Ten, nine, eight…

  …two, one, zero. We’re live.

  “So,” I start with a grin, “who here likes to get a little dangerous? Welcome to the late show, gals and gamers. It’s your favorite bitch, Archon, and tonight I’m uncensored and unmedicated. I know it’s not the usual time and no real warning, but I have to say, it warms my heart to see so many of you showing up regardless. More of you pouring in, love to see those lovely faces. Welcome, welcome. Season’s greetings, everyone. What is it, third week of January? Fourth? I don’t keep track.”

  I do. It’s the first week of February. First Friday of January was the aquarium date. Second Friday was the arcade. For the third, a nature walk. The fourth was Magic and a movie in the apartment. The fifth and final Friday of the month, my most recent date with Sophia, was another relaxing night at home with shows and snacks. She fell asleep again. This week, we’re going out for dinner at a nice burger place to talk about manga while we stuff our faces.

  “Ah, lots of familiar names here at this ungodly hour. Gimme your greetings. Get rowdy in chat. I know a lot of you lurkers like to stay hidden, but hey, just for me, come on out and say hi. It’s dark outside, at least where I am, so let’s huddle by the neon glow together. Tell me you’re watching. Let me know you want to be heard.”

  MsKittycore: Bonus Archon stream, oh wow! ArchonHeart VisageClap ArchonHeart

  thedrowsybird113: heyy. night owl here. weird hours. tired, but it’s nice to catch a stream live for once

  LisaRenard: Caught me just at the end of the day! What’s the special occasion that has you in such a novel mood?

  Saphy115: yay, peopel! i have no idea what the stream is about but im so excited!

  Deerlibeloved: when will you play Outer Wilds

  Selacanis: longtime lurker here, hi

  Linnea: are you on drugs or something? wait, no, you said you’re off drugs. you should take your drugs before you say something stupid. well, stupider.

  MsKittycore: Lisa! Saphy! Everyone! ArchonHeart ArchonHeart

  Saphy115: hey, dont be rude @Linnea

  Linnea: bite me bitch

  Ukronia_Verdelei: what was that about being uncensored? are mods asleep? why wasn tthis stream on the schedule?

  I chuckle at some of the usual suspects. “Hi Sapphy, Kittycore. No, Deerli, I’m not going to play that game. Fuck you, too, Linnea. Lisa, Drowsy, glad you could make it. I see more names I recognize running by. It’s good to see you all, even the assholes. This is… well, you could call it spur of the moment. Don’t tell the bosses, but I really wanted to talk to you guys without Manager-chan peeking over my shoulder. For the moment, for as long as I have you, it’s just us. You get the unfiltered Archon, and I think I can trust my chat to be unfiltered at all times.”

  I’m not really lying about it being spur of the moment. It’s been nearly two weeks since I resolved to change the game and start pushing harder for my plot against Venus, but I only came up with this idea a few nights ago, after one of my regular streaming slots. I’ve been wracking my brains for how, exactly, I can make my next move, and I didn’t want rush off to try the first idea I thought of. This one felt like it had legs. I messaged Ferro, practiced in my head, and here I am.

  “I want to talk about the things I usually talk around, if you catch my meaning. There’s a lot on that list, of course. I know shipping is on a lot of your minds, all the time. Normally, I wouldn’t say it out loud that I think Kira Kira and Sweet Tooth are so adorable together they simply have to be dating, and I wouldn’t admit that I browse the subreddits looking for ship art of me and Agatha. I definitely wouldn’t tell you that I read all the fanfiction, for all the girls and all the pairings.” I grin. “But, I do. Yeah, even the really filthy stuff. You freaks are creative.”

  I’m exaggerating a little. Before I had a real job—well, streaming, so not really, but close enough—I could almost keep up with the endless tide of fanworks, but definitely not now. I keep a finger on the pulse of the community, though, so I know what’s being written and drawn.

  LisaRenard: aokpsrhegfopasikhefp oh no she knows

  Ukronia_Verdelei: archon untamed!!! hide the tags!!! run for your lives!!

  UltimateHimeDtora: KIRASWEET! ITS TRUE YOU CONFIRMED IT ITS REAL

  Mister_Spark: okay but have you read the HARD stuff? there’s coterie x visage stuff that goes crazy, so many wonderfully evil women…

  Aballa03: ohmygosh i write so much yuri. did you read my coffesshop agatha fic??? the enemies to lovers hurt/comfort 30k atrocity i dumped last month??

  themothcourt: i have so many ships i can abrely keep track, do you ship the big trio? im such a polyvisage shipper

  UltimateHimeDtora: is archatha real?????????? tell us you have to tell us tell us tell us

  Saphy115: @Aballa03 omg share your ao3! Wait. is that why your name is like that??

  RabbidEnbnuy: ive uhhhhh read some really spicy maenad smut. and glamour.

  LisaRenard: oh god she’s seen the archon smut. some of it is. oh my. oh MY. far, far too spicy for me, goodness gracious

  Ukronia_Verdelei: yeah but did she like it tho

  LittleBombEnthusiast: i like mako art. theres this one artist who draws really good fish and dolphins in the background MakoHeart

  Okay, yeah, this was worth it no matter what. “Yes, Sparky, I have. Lilith art is particularly choice, and I may or may not have a folder of it on my phone. No, UHD, I’m not confirming shit. Aballa, I adore your atrocity, I have it bookmarked. The scene with the burn scars? Not how our regeneration works, but magnifique all the same.”

  I giggle at the frenzy in chat. This is a delight. Just saying it all out loud? Liberating. The goblin in me wants to keep going for hours. Oh, what a stream I could make if not for that pesky age rating.

  “And, yes, I’ve seen what you draw of me. My tits are not that huge, for the record, and I’ll have you know I’m quite happy at this size. As for the more, ah, creative uses of my powers, well… keep at it, pervs. You’re not far off.” I cackle, knowing this will incite a whole new wave of completely deranged fanart. “Anyway, I’ll stop before the site admins catch wind and gimme a slap on the wrist for talking about NORMAL ADULT INTERESTS. God forbid we acknowledge people look at porn, yeah?”

  My gripes with the platform aside, it’s not completely forbidden for a streamer like me to talk about “spicy” art. Most Visage streamers have a social media tag for the NSFW drawings, though for most it’s more quarantine than signal boosting. The expectation is for that kind of thing to be an open secret. Everything has to be invitation and abjuration, the endless tease.

  “So, changing the subject… I have a confession, gals and gamers. God, I have got to stop saying that before it sticks. Okay, right, on topic. So for the past month, I’ve been getting into a new hobby, and it’s kind of weird, kind of cringe, but it’s really sucked me in. Do any of you like to read about conspiracy theories?”

  You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

  I pause for effect, and so chat can get the first wave of reactions out of their system.

  “I’m not talking, like, moon landing stuff, to be clear. Or 9/11 conspiracies, or Flat Earth, or any of the old-fashioned garbage. Most of those are just racism painted up with a thin veneer of occultism or pseudoscience, and they’re usually not even that creative. No, when I say ‘conspiracy theories,’ I mean theories about magic. About magical girls. About the planet that disappeared and the cats that came to our world. About what happened to Texas. I mean, we all know the basic story, right? Moons of Jupiter, big war, and one side ruined it for both, so now they keep their hands tied. Then they came here, and started giving out superpowers. If you thought us witches got told anything different, well, sorry to disappoint. But I hear a lot, skimming the web. What do you all hear?”

  This is the gamble. Visage is going to be furious with me. Striga is going to be furious with me. And the Jovians…

  crowsdanger: what if the jovians are actually birds not cats that would be cool

  Ukronia_Verdelei: idk abot conspiracies but can we go back to talking about girls

  RyuuBlank: okay listne im only telling you this because you asked okay but this is big this is the biggest if they find out youre dead im dead were all dead because theyre in control they control the government ythey control the media they control everything man its everything its all of it and it started in the ice age when the martians and the neptunians were feuding over control of their outpost colony and the greys aka the ANDROMENEDANS had to flee and now the jovians are just the next stage in an inte

  GhostHunter283: it’s so obvious i cant believe no one’s talking about it, am i the only one who realizes the jovians must be ghosts? think about it, why have people stopped making ghost shows? why has ghost investigation dried up? it’s because it’s being suppressed to hide the truth! ghosts are real! TAKE THAT MOM

  MorriMaple: hi long time listener first time caller do you think it like, feels good when phage bites someone and turns them into a thrall? sorry that was random. i think magical girls are like, a mass hallucination caused by spores, but if they’re real then they’re probably vampires and they’re just different vampires, like different clans, but they dont know because theyre being suppressed by the technocracy’s mind controllers

  N1dalfr: what the fuck is going on? this is getting weird, im out

  Anneka_Wright: i unfollowed kira kira because shes literally a walking bomb, like, she could go black hole supernova at any moments, how is she allowed to be alive??? she’s going to turn into a calamity any day now. they dont want you to know this but there was footage from texas and cataclysms happen when a witch gets exposed to too much radiation

  RyuuBlank: rgalactic war that goes back im talking millions of years because this planet is where the black obelisks are hidden deep beneath the earth, the bones of the giants, its what the illuminati and the freemasons were trying to find but they were just pawns for the martians and theyve been completely outmanuevered by the JOVIANS but thats not even the half of it because the syndicate and vanguard are working for a jovian coalition trafficking them bodies for human experimentation in exchange for the

  Aliased: wait @MorriMaple how would they be vampires like what would make them vampires if only one of them drinks blood and they can all go out in daylight and like. eat garlic and stuff?

  thedrowsybird113: idk about vanguard but i could totally buy syndicate doing human trafficking shit

  DeyzeriaHerself: i think its all one big play, like a planetary theater performance for the benefit of some higher cosmic powers watching from the stars

  MorriMaple: well its like how vampires can go outside in twilight right they just sparkle theyre really beautiful and what are all magical girls? beautiful. maybe they like. drink blood in private and we just dont know about it. celebrities drink blood, right?

  RyuuBlank: secrets of SATANIC SEX MAGIC that theyve been using to infiltrate the secret world government and take over from the inside through their dark sex rituals and the whole american public is at risk because its in the advertising its in our tv shows its in the news and were next youre next unless we stop them

  Piscine_Creed: whoah that’s crazy

  MagentaMorningstar: here’s the REAL tea, visage is in the pocket of big oil and has been from the very fucking start. follow the money. do you know how much merch they sell that uses PLASTIC? it’s basically all of it, and it’s caused this massive knock-on boom for competitors in other industries, so now everyone is producing way more plastic figurines and plastic poster than ever and do you know why? because big oil paid visage to do it. JOIN COTERIE NOW

  Aliased: i dont know if celebrities do drink blood. maybe a couple. i feel like someoine would have noticed though if magical girls were going around drinking blood. like, at the very least itd get reported to the police in case it was a sign of phage moving in

  Saphy115: hey i know everyone is getting really excited but maybe we should keep things more chill? this enviro is starting to feel a little uncomfy ngl

  dreamsofdehme: i bet the jovians corner girls that are dying to offer them contracts. like, find a girl hit by a car and make her agree to be their slave to fight their forever war in exchange for getting to walk again

  MorriMaple: okay @Aliased true but maybe phage has all the like police commissioners thralled and she’ll be coming for me next phage if youre reading this you can dm me and ill give you my address hi im your biggest fan

  LisaRenard: I’m not really one for conspiratorial thinking, buuuuut if we’re going to talk about it… does anyone else feel like the big conflict between magical girls and witches just doesn’t feel like it matters? I mean, I know it’s not kosher to talk about on a Visage stream, but how is magical wrestling supposed to advance some ancient factional war? And if that’s not real, what about Vanguard vs Coterie? What are the “solars” and “sidereals” gaining from any of this? It just doesn’t make sense.

  Ukronia_Verdelei: shit, that one actually sounds kinda reasonable

  DeyzeriaHerself: its like actors in a play, the swords are dull and the bloods all squibs

  RyuuBlank: i have a podcast btw

  They gave me everything I need. Most of it’s nonsense, of course, but the actual content doesn’t matter; what matters is that people are going to start talking about this. And for a bunch of entities utterly dependent on controlling the narrative, that’s a problem.

  I make a fuss of having to close the stream early because I got a text from management—which is true—and direct people to the Discord server that grew out of one of the forums I used to frequent before I became a witch. The ones who really care will find like minds.

  When I leave my closet office and step out into the rest of my apartment, Pandora is waiting. I lean against the railing by my bed, looking down on the purple cat sitting in the middle of my living room. Its tail flicks erratically.

  “Enjoy the show?” I ask with a grin.

  “No,” it says curtly. Still business-like, still practically emotionless, but just a little more clipped than usual.

  I laugh. “Got your attention, didn’t it? Hey, Pandora, while I got you here: what do you think of Venus?”

  The cat tilts its head. “The planet, the myth, or the Sailor Guardian?”

  “The egregore.”

  There’s a pause. “I’m not sure I understand your meaning, Ms. Emily. I know your comment on stream was a joke, but I’m beginning to worry you really do need medication.”

  “Probably,” I muse, “but we’re about far too late on that. Let me ask you a different question, then, and see if it gets better results.” I raise one hand lazily, holding it out to the side, and bring green fire to my fingertips. “Hey, Pandora, while I got you here: how would you like to be free of Minerva’s rules? Free to act for the first time since the triumvirate bound you. Yeah, I know just how restrictive your ‘empower and guide’ really is. I know that right now, you can’t stop anyone you’ve empowered from doing a damn thing, because taking away those powers would be breaking those stupid, stupid rules that Minerva forced on you.”

  The cat’s tail stills. “What do you think you know, Ms. Emily?”

  “Call me Archon,” I order the spawn of Jupiter. “Or better yet, call me the new Venus. I’ve seen the other side, cat. I’ve seen the rising goddess of love, beauty, and the adoration of the masses. She made me an offer. She wanted me to be her champion, like she claims the Catastrophes are Jupiter’s.” I grip the railing tighter and put venom in my voice for this next part. “Like Strix Striga belongs to Minerva. She told me that, and suddenly it all made sense. The reason she’s busier than even a magical girl has any right to be—the reason she never has time for me, because she’s always running errands for that harlot goddess who claimed my Sophie. Well, I’m not having it.”

  Pandora doesn’t move. Doesn’t blink. Watches me. “I’m listening.”

  I chuckle. “Of course you are. Let me make one thing clear, cat: I’m done playing the cheap, disposable minion. This is so much bigger than just distracting Striga. I don’t care about that anymore, and I don’t think you do, either. You want Minerva out of the picture, and Venus, and Mars, so your master can break free. Okay. I’m in. I’ll break your chains so you can break Jupiter’s, starting with Venus. Help me usurp Venus, and I’ll give you Jupiter.”

  A long silence. Pandora’s probably conferring with its counterparts across the world. Eventually, slowly, it asks, “Why? Surely Venus told you what Jupiter—”

  “Don’t care,” I interrupt. “I don’t care about anything, cat, except Sophia Lane. And I will burn the whole fucking world to make her mine. So here’s the deal: you can have your god, but I get the rest. Venus, Mars, Minerva, all to me. And when I have all that power, I’ll make a space of my own, somewhere far away from the rest of you, where I can keep Sophie safe and happy in her Rachel’s care for all eternity.”

  One cat ear twitches. “Perhaps we should return to a previous point in the conversation. You stated you could break us from Minerva’s rules. How would you do this, Archon?”

  I roll the green fire up and down my arm. “With this. You gave me all the clues. My power, it isn’t just making monsters, making weapons. I can transform anything. I can transform you into something that isn’t bound by ‘empower and guide.’ Of course, there’s a kind of insurance in that; the moment you fail to earn your keep, I can take the power back. You’ll lose your freedom the second you plot against me. But I think that’s a fair price to pay. Don’t you?”

  This is who I am. This is what I am. Archon, the Promethean, puts monsters on leashes to steal fire from the gods and save her beloved. That’s the story I’ll carve into the World of Glass. That’s the myth I’ll make.

  “Let’s talk terms,” the Jovian says, and I know I’ve won.

  TMGM goes on hiatus after the March 4th update. TMGM will return from hiatus on April 5th.