I tried to punch the Moon Goddess and she tried to chop my claw off at the wrist, managing to actually cut all the way to the bone and lodging her huge two handed broad sword made out of anger in there somewhere. That certainly was not the start to a battle that I would've preferred, to say the least. I'm genuinely surprised she didn't just go through.

  My bones vibrated all the way to my chest from the impact, and my hand hit the ground, her sword still imbedded on my wrist, from the force of the impact.

  She appeared perplexed as the sword's handle left friction burns on the palms of her hands from the speed at which it had left them, opening her hands and looking at them, then looking at my hand, which had cracked the stonework below us.

  She realized that she was unarmed around the time she noticed I had a second front claw that was coming at her, which she managed to dodge by moving like a flash of light, as in, she glowed silver for an instant and then she moved quite quickly, I wonder if that was lightspeed?

  Either way, my claw sailed past her as she had moved very slightly to the left of where I punched, then she dashed along the outside of my left arm, or front leg or whatever, and came up to my face, already forming another weapon from her anger, this time a triangular-shaped sword with a thick handguard, she turned into light again and rushed towards me.

  Definitely not light speed, but very fast.

  Fortunately for me, I was also very fast, so I could move my head out of the way so the sword didn't go through my eye and instead just glanced off one of my scales and my movement caused her to have to abort her forward thrust, lest she impale herself on the crown of horns that sat upon my head.

  She did something almost like a swan dive between my horns, and then stopped with another flash of light, this time her hands opening wide, the light from the very flash she had just produced forming between her hands like a very long shaft, which she raised and then the tip of it spread like a two crescents and between them a spear's tip.

  I could see all of this thanks to Mini Me's eyes. Very useful that.

  Before she could actually stab the back of my head with that unnecessarily fancy spear, my tail whipped her out of the air with a force more than sufficient to crack the sound barrier and produce a really satisfying sonic boom as I hit her, sending her flying away to my right. Turning my head, I traced her trajectory in my mind real quick, and then spread my wings, taking flight softly at first and then quickly gaining height.

  I had to cut my planned curve when she seemed to catch herself in mid air, looking up at me as I flew up high between her and the sky.

  "What's your problem!?" I shouted down at her as she seemed to be taking a moment to catch herself, the walls of the large valley below us, we'd cleared the town and its surrounding farmlands quite nicely with that little flight.

  I saw her spit a wad of blood and phlegm and then slam her fist into her palm, her cloth robes disappearing and forming into armor that seemed to be made of an infinity of white strips of leather, wrapping around her front, arms and legs. Curiously, I could see from here her back was exposed.

  "You think you can come to MY turf, wreck MY shit and I'm not gonna make you pay for it!? I'm gonna shove your tail up your own ass you overgrown lizard!!"

  "What the hell are you talking about, I destroyed a meteor-"

  "You BLEW UP MY HOUSE!!" she screamed, raising her right arm and pointing the left at me, almost as if she was using it to aim as she reared her right, then suddenly a bolt of white light took form and she tossed it like a javelin at me.

  I beat my wings and knocked it off course, then a second came, and I batted it aside with my claw, then a third, fourth and a twentieth all came in quick succession, in what felt like the space it took my thoughts to organize I was receiving a barrage of hundreds of white energy spears per second, which I had to employ both arms and my wings and my tail to block and swat them away.

  They stung. If I had to compare it to something I experienced as a human, I would compare it to someone throwing tiny pebbles at me, each of them was inflicting more pain than it was damage, but I could definitely tell I was starting to accumulate damage.

  So I had to change the situation quickly, bringing both my wings forward and letting the spears hit them for a few moments while I took in a deep breath.

  The pain stopped for a moment and then I spread my wings and let out my breath in a powerful beam, but as I did that she appeared in a flash of light directly above me, with the shattered meteor behind her-

  Wait.

  Shattered meteor?

  I had to be fast, I only had a fraction of a second to act, maybe even less, so I quickly grabbed her with one of my claws and then used the other to catch the chunk of rock that was a little smaller than me, feeling the impact of the rock that was literally so hot it was melting and so fast that it could be expressed as a fraction of light speed all the way to my shoulder, and the shockwave spreading far and wide, even as I stopped it in mid air.

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  It only pushed me a couple dozen meters down, and I only had a little bit of time to prepare.

  "See? This is the meteor I broke!" I pointed out, bringing her up to look at the rock.

  "Ugh, not only are you ugly you're also a fucking moron!" she shouted. "On the Natural Satellite, you dungbrain! Your attack hit the surface of the Natural Satellite!!"

  "Oh- shit, I hit the Moon?" I asked, looking up at the sky. I really hadn't paid all that much attention, the moon's supposed to have big craters right? I'm not sure if that one was there before. "Uh- was that me?"

  "YES IT WAS YOU!!" she roared, squirming even as I kept her securely held in my grip. "My beautiful house was there!!"

  "... uhm, my bad, I really didn't mean to," I said. "I just wanted to destroy the meteor that was coming down on us."

  "I fucking hate you."

  "Look I understand you're a little bit angry right now-"

  "I'M FUCKING LIVID!"

  "-but you have to understand that anger, and violence, doesn't solve problems, and you can't undestroy your house by bringing destruction to the world," I chided, absent mindedly tossing the meteor far away.

  "Yes it will! Once I'm done killing you I'm going to use your corpse to build my new house!" the moondweller insisted.

  "I mean I don't think you're going to have much luck with that," I pointed out. "To be honest you're weaker than the last two things I killed," I even made a point of raising my right arm to show her the wound she had given me had already healed. "I mean your stuff hurts but unless you have something to deal a whole lot of damage quickly-"

  "What if I were to explode right now?"

  I looked at her. "Oi. Don't joke about that," I pointed a finger at her, "just because you lose a fight isn't a reason to do something like that, let's not get hasty, I-"

  "Eat moonlight, bitch!"

  And then she exploded.

  It was a silent explosion, at first, she didn't just- explode, per se, it was more like she formed a massive sphere of light that completely consumed both of us, which in itself was like, a constant explosion that just kept going off in waves, back and forth, reaching the edges of the light sphere and then coming back.

  Then it stopped, and my hearing came back.

  "That was so fucking cool!"

  It really was!

  "That was... supposed to kill you..." she said, "that was all I had... how fucking powerful are you?"

  I looked at my arm, which was reduced to quite literally just bone and a couple of muscles, I literally couldn't move it. A lot of my back was very seriously hurt and my wings were gone, and I had to hold myself up with just my power, and even so I had to spend so much of it to not be completely reduced to just bones right after that attack that we were falling already.

  "I have no idea," I said, confidently. "So how're you holding up? Got any more of those in you?"

  It seemed like she wanted to bluff at first. "You're shitting me, you're actually shitting me, you chromed turd, are you actually superior to the gods!?"

  "What is a God to a Dragon?" I asked idly. "A tasty morsel."

  Her eyes widened and she went a pale white that really did fit the moon.

  "Aw come on Great One, I've spent so many seasons trying to get you to honor us by allowing us to become part of your great being, and you give such a great honor to someone we don't even know!?"

  I turned to look at the Priestess, who had all her dragon bits out and in full display, pouting at me, complete with puffed up cheeks. "What are you, five?" I asked.

  "Five what?"

  "He means ten seasons," Aqua corrected, as she flew up to us. "Well, every time I see you fight I'm just even more surprised - do you truly have no limits?"

  I shrugged my shoulders. Oh, hey, the muscles in those were back, and that tingly sensation definitely meant my wings would come back soon.

  "Oh, well, I've got good news and bad news, good news is, we resolved our differences-"

  "No the shit we haven't you still owe me a house you fucking-"

  "-and the bad news is that now I don't know if I have enough power to deal with the rest of the meteor shower."

  Aqua sighed and rolled her eyes. "Do you need a nap?"

  "Yeah, I need a nice big nap," I said, as I felt myself becoming increasingly sluggish. "I think I can make it back home, darn, I wanted to do some more traveling, go on a date, but I guess- I'll have to postpone it."

  "Are you just ignoring me!?"

  "Oh yeah Aqua hold this," I said, passing the violent nutcase to Aqua, who wrapped her in ropes of gelatinous looking water. It even jiggled in the air. "Good, great even."

  "I hate all of you."

  I did a fake yawn because I really wanted to do it. "Yeah, whatever, look if you can wait until I wake up, we can discuss rebuilding your house. Aqua, do me a favor and deal with the meteors," I noticed I was mostly whole and even my wings were back, allowing me to fly much more efficiently, so I began stretching, "priestess - call for Castille and tell her she's now in charge of this area. She is to ensure that they stop the practice of human sacrifice."

  "What if they resist?" the priestess asked.

  "I kicked their goddess' ass, fuck it, tell Castille to round up the opposition and repeatedly kick'em where it hurts until they agree to stop, I don't care how she does it, as long as it does not involve genociding all of them."

  "I'll make sure it doesn't come to that," the Priestess responded with a bright smile. "And if it does may I also-"

  "Okay. But only once. You only get to use ONE dick kick. Or vagina kick. Make it count!"

  "Yay!"

  "All of you are fucking weird," the Moon Dummy spoke.

  "If you think this is bad just wait until he starts thinking of new games to play," Aqua said, chuckling.

  "Ah, you're already getting along," I hummed, "of course, the moon and the ocean, you would get along!"

  There was a moment's pause. "Why would we?" asked Aqua.

  The so called Moon Goddess looked at me like I had grown a second head, but the Mini Me still held by the Priestess was looking at me and I could see I still had but one.

  "You know? The moon's gravity causes the waves and all," I said, "it's like you guys are partners... right?"

  They looked at each other.

  "The moon doesn't cause the waves," Aqua spoke, "I do."

  Huh.

  "Oh... Well, uh, that's news to me. I'm going to pretend I always knew that and now I'm going to go to sleep," I said, turning around and flying away.

  And yet my poor draconic heart could still hear their insults upon my intelligence as I flew away, because the Mini Me was still working. They hurt all the worse because I couldn't deny them. I keep forgetting how the world is.

  Fuck it, I'm really sleepy, I'll just go consult my pillow about it. I'll have to make it up to Aqua for all the work I dumped on her, so I'll focus on getting my stamina up.

  The next time I wake up...

  I don't care how much effort it takes, we're making that egg!