The summer came around. I tried to bury myself in work to avoid thinking about Sakharkarkhan. However, being out in the ocean, looking at the waves and the horizon, only made me feel lonelier. I kept going to the beach for a swim any time I got. I knew it was aimless, hoping to see him, yet I kept dreaming about it. I had never felt so alone. Nothing like love to make you feel empty when it’s gone. Days passed one by one. My eyes were itching to see Han again. Some nights I couldn’t sleep, thinking about him and crying from how much I missed him. Several times I slept on the beach, simply refusing to go home, just in case he would show up. It was all pointless. Despite the heartache killing me, I worked my ass off that summer. I earned twice as much for all the overtime I did. It was the first time I thought about buying my own boat.

  When autumn came, I was shaking with impatience. I would go to the beach every free moment I had, but Han wasn’t showing up. With each day of September, I was growing more hopeless. Intrusive thoughts kept crawling into my mind. What if something happened? What if he forgot about me? What if he found someone else? I couldn’t drive these ideas away. I was frantically checking the news for any mermaid sightings, spending days by the ocean, waiting for him. I slept on the beach more often, not to miss him when he showed up. I felt anxious and worried. My family thought I was going crazy. I couldn’t explain to them why I was acting that way. I still couldn’t find the courage to tell them about being gay. Adding to it that my boyfriend was a mermaid would surely drive them to a hospital bed. In a way, I’m glad their concern was so quiet. They never pried or pressured me to tell them what was wrong, they were simply there for me to cry on their shoulders.

  I was twenty-three years old by that time, crying about a guy who told me he would be back but left me with no goodbye. I started doubting I would ever see him again. As September went by, I came back to work with a new motivation. I was planning to kill my broken heart with endless shifts. I didn’t leave the boat for almost another two months. Working day and night, through all the holidays and celebrations, doing everything I could to lose myself in the one thing I knew – fishing.

  It was the end of November when my boss sent me off for a forced weekend on the shore. I remember he said something about my eyes being dead and that I looked like a zombie. He was right, of course. In an attempt to drown the pain of loneliness, I was killing my body and soul. He promised to pay me for that week off if I didn’t come back to the boat until December. I obliged. I needed rest, even though I didn’t want it.

  On the second day on the shore, when I came to the same beach and sat on the sand, staring aimlessly into the horizon of the unruly ocean, I suddenly saw something in the distance. I couldn’t believe my eyes. In the big, rowdy waves, there was a line. Something was moving towards me with great speed. Then I heard it. The familiar shriek that I had learned to distinguish among hundreds of other sounds. The mermaid call of the man I longed for. I jumped up, running towards the ocean. Wearing long pants and a hoodie, I rushed into the cold water, disregarding any logic. I felt my clothes getting wet and heavy. Waves were pushing against me, persuading me to turn back, but I wasn’t listening. I could see his silhouette closing in on me. In the next second, he jumped out of the water, flying into me and knocking me off my feet into the ocean. As cool liquid swallowed us, I could only feel his arms around me and his lips kissing mine. Underwater, I kissed him like there was no tomorrow. I squeezed him tight in my embrace, refusing to let go. Soon I felt my lungs burning, begging for oxygen, yet I was prepared to drown if it meant holding Han in my hands. He brought me to the surface and to the shore, so that I wouldn’t suffocate. As I lay on the sand, still holding him tightly, he tried to make me stop kissing him so that he could say something. I didn’t care. It was the first time I ignored his wishes and was selfish about it. He giggled under my kisses, turning and twisting, attempting to wiggle his way out of my grip.

  Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

  “Stop moving already, you’re getting me excited,” I finally stopped, smiling at him.

  Another wave hit us. Salty water rose over him, flying around us in millions of drops. He was so beautiful. Just how I remembered him. A big smile on his handsome face, gorgeous blue eyes sparkling and staring at me with enthusiasm. I was all wet and cold, but so glad to see him.

  “I’m sorry I couldn’t come back earlier,” Sakharkarkhan said before grabbing my cheeks and kissing me again. “I missed you so much.”

  “I was afraid I’d never see you again,” I replied, with tears in my eyes.

  “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I wanted to come back earlier, but I couldn’t.”

  “Tell me about it later, okay? I just want to hold you for a little longer,” I asked.

  Sakharkarkhan smiled lovingly. With a sigh of relief, he embraced me, and we spent a while lying motionless. Holding him in my arms finally gave me the opportunity to relax. I felt my eyes closing, as if a constant anxiety had crumbled like a wall, allowing accumulated exhaustion to wash over me. Soon my body started shaking. Han, like a weighted blanket, was lying over me and breathing down my neck.

  “I’m sorry I pushed you into the water,” he suddenly apologised.

  “I don’t mind being cold if it means I finally get to see you. Also, it was me who ran into the ocean despite everything.”

  We both chuckled. I let go of Han to get further onto the sand. We sat down on the shore. I was slowly freezing, but I didn’t want to go home. Not now. Not when my love was finally by my side.

  “So, why couldn’t you come back for so long?”

  “Hunters. Since during summer all of us left and the campaign was unsuccessful, some decided to take it upon themselves to continue in the autumn. As soon as I neared the coast in September, I was met with harpoons and nets. I attempted to sneak past them several times, but they kept following me. It took a lot of time to shake them before running back home. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you what was going on,” Sakharkarkhan explained.

  “It’s alright. Most important is that you and your family are safe, everything else doesn’t matter.”

  I couldn’t stop looking at him. Every detail of him seemed dreamlike.

  “You are also important,” Han said. “I noticed you lost some weight, and your face looks tired. What were you doing this whole time?”

  I had to tell him how I freaked out after he never came back. His concerned gaze made me feel embarrassed. I felt nothing but shame as I explained how I buried myself in work instead of dealing with my emotions in a healthy way. Sakharkarkhan was disappointed yet tried not to show it. He made me promise I would never do that again, that I wouldn’t hide from my feelings and would take care of myself even when he couldn’t make sure I did. Then he sent me home to change into something warmer. I ran as fast as I possibly could, flying into the house at the speed of sound. I took a quick hot shower, put on some winter clothes, grabbed a thermos of tea, and rushed back like my life depended on it. That time, we spent the rest of the night at the beach. Only at four in the morning did I go home to sleep. I wouldn’t if it were up to me, but Han insisted.

  After that, life started to go back to normal. Sakharkarkhan was back, meeting me from time to time on the weekends. I got back in touch with my friends and revived my social life. In another couple of months, I came out to my family. To my surprise, they were understanding and even supportive. I was doing great at my job, earning a stable income. Sometimes the stresses of existence still got to me. It’s impossible to avoid politics, mistakes, or embarrassment even at your best time of life, but I was alright.

  Next summer came around. Han had to leave again. Too much risk in staying around when men like Ramon try to get their disgusting hands on any mermaid they can see. This time apart was less painful for me. I still missed him like crazy, of course, but I didn’t ruin myself or my life in his absence. I took a couple of overtime shifts while I could, yet I rested and spent time with other people as well. In October, Sakharkarkhan came back. Life was stable. I was twenty-four and happy. New ambitions were driving me. Support from my family, friends, and Han motivated me to pursue new goals. I couldn’t wish for a better outcome.