What was I supposed to do now?

  I looked at with vague curiosity, but in order to find out what it was, I would have to speak.

  And I had no desire to speak.

  What would I say? How could I even begin?

  Stay quiet.

  Previously, when my mind grew dark and wandered in shadowy halls, I felt as though there were an open door behind me, where soft white light spilled onto my back, and every time I would turn and walk back, away from the dark.

  I raised my hand to my throat and dug my nails in.

  So this is what and are capable of.

  I stayed with my fingers dug through my own flesh, contemplating the pain and the sensation.

  At last, I removed my hand and examined my fingers.

  “Inventory.”

  My first word in three and a half years was hoarse and barely audible. I felt the muscles in my throat strain, squeezing blood down my robes. My new robes, I realised. They had lines of gold trim, a small capelet, and a brilliant red stain down the front of them. I was transfixed by the brightness of the blood.

  When I finally examined my Inventory, the new item continued to confuse me.

   appeared to be a small metal cage with a single spike pointing inwards, and a hinge door on the opposite side.

  I laughed. What else could I do, cry?

  And then I laughed again because I hadn’t laughed in such a long time. I laughed until I was crying instead.

  Body twisted, I lay on the ground and began to sing every nursery rhyme I could think of. My throat, muscles and vocal cords, hurt almost immediately, but I kept going until I could taste blood too.

  Yes, this should hurt. There was a reason why I had to stay quiet. Speaking hurts. Speaking is dangerous.

  When I ran out of nursery rhymes, I started again from the beginning.

  The open seventh door lurked at the corner of my vision. I turned my back on it.

  I sang all the nursery rhymes again for a third time. The muscles of my jaw hurt. I could feel the coagulating blood on my neck crackle with each word.

  The door waited.

  I cast Heal and felt the fingerholes in my throat close up, so I dug my fingers in again.

  “Heal.”

  The holes closed up.

  I dug until I could feel my windpipe under my fingertips, the pain blossoming behind my eyes like dark red dahlias.

  “H- Huh… Huh…”

  Oh, I might actually die this time.

  “Heal…”

  The holes closed around my fingers. I managed to pull them out before they were fully incorporated into my throat.

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  And here I was, still in the lobby.

  Who’s going to run out of patience first? I thought to the game, or God, or whoever was listening. Want me to see how long I can keep tearing my throat out?

  I didn’t receive any response, so I did it a few more times.

  “I win!” I crowed, and coughed.

  “Not even going to answer me? You’re a sore loser.”

  “Hey, wait, what happened to Sukju?”

  “I don’t fucking care about Hang whatever, what happened to Sukju?” I screamed.

  “Uh… Maria?” Lee Wai Meng prodded my shoulder. “Are you okay?”

  “NO!” I screamed back.

  “Fair… Fair enough.”

  “Hm. This is different,” said Wen Yong, tapping the arms of a shockingly ornate throne with his hands.

  Hand. His left arm was a mangled raven’s wing, sized up to be proportionate to a human. Seeing that I had caught sight of it, he waved it in my direction.

  “You won’t even thank him?” Angry_Birb asked coldly, from where she… he was seated on the throne. “Or apologise?”

  Dimly, I remembered the raven pushing its wing into its mouth to stop me from screaming.

  I’d rather die than thank Wen Yong, though.

  “What are you still doing here?” I asked Angry_Birb instead. “It’s disgusting enough that you’re pretending to be a girl. Are you some kind of… goldfish man?”

  Lee Wai Meng instantly choked and began to laugh hysterically. “G-Goldfish man!”

  “What,” said Han Sung-Hyuk, frowning at me from the other side of the excessively ornate throne, “is a goldfish man?”

  “An old pervert.”

  Han Sung-hyuk’s face twitched. “She has a point. You haven’t told us anything.”

  “I’ve got nothing to explain,” Angry_Birb snapped. He drew ever so slightly closer to Wen Yong, who clapped him on the shoulder with his remaining hand.

  “Yeah, come on, everyone. I’ll say it again, I don’t think Birb is doing this for any weird reason. It’s just kind of fun to play as a different gender sometimes, right? It’s just a game.”

  “Divine Wrath.”

  Wen Yong managed to dodge out of the way as a lightning bolt slammed into the spot between him and Angry_Birb, leaving an impact crater beside the throne. I leapt on him before he could recover.

  “Vow of Silence.”

  The item appeared in my hand and I wrestled it onto Wen Yong’s head, ignoring his panicked gurgles and Angry_Birb’s screams as he stood up on the throne, a staff appearing in his hand –

  “Stop.”

  I had latched the Vow of Silence by then, but my hands trembled at the sound of the voice behind me.

  Jesse stood over me, a gleaming dagger in either hand. One was tickling Angry_Birb’s throat. The other was held loosely, but was still pointed in my direction.

  “What’s that you just put on him, Mik Tsaam?”

  “Just something to shut him up.”

  “Cool. Does it come off?”

  “I… think so?”

  “Good enough. Alright, everyone, we need to talk.”

  Still crouched on top of the struggling Wen Yong, I finally examined the rest of the room.

  The floor was carpeted in plush red, and we stood on a raised dais with five layers, glossy black and overwhelming gold, with an ornate canopy overhead. Angry_Birb retreated back into the throne, not even attempting to pretend femininity. The others in the room came closer – Lee Wai Meng, Han Sung-hyuk, Calvin…

  I grabbed him by the collar.

  “What happened to Sukju?”

  He stared at me like I was crazy. “What do you mean? That scenario’s ended, Ma- Mik Tsaam. That… The baby doesn’t exist anymore.”

  “But what happened to it?”

  “Uh… It got found… and it was given to… what do they call them, the women in old times who look after babies…?”

  “Wet nurse?” Jesse suggested.

  “Yeah, that.”

  “And then?”

  “And then what?”

  “Exactly? What happened then?”

  “Nothing. The scenario ended. It’s over, Maria.”

  Over? I gave birth to a whole living thing. I remembered every bit of the sensation. I made something from my own body, so there was no way it wasn’t real, no way it could no longer exist.

  “Sukju… It’s out there somewhere…”

  Jesse gripped my shoulder. “Why don’t you sit down, Mik Tsaam?”

  I sat, sagging sideways off Wen Yong, who was still wrestling with the Vow of Silence.

  “Jesse…” My voice dried up, and I shut my mouth.

  Stay quiet.

  She firmly wrapped her arm around my shoulders, and addressed the others.

  “We’re going to trade tasks, right now. No deception. I’ll start, and then we’ll go around the group, understood?”

  Even Angry_Birb nodded mutely. Wen Yong was the only one who didn’t nod, struggling with his bridle.

  In short, Jesse had the same tasks as me. She rattled them off quickly and turned to look at Angry_Birb. “Your turn.”

  “Oh… Yeah… Same here.”

  “Buuuullshit,” I said, pointing directly at Angry_Birb’s face. “Let me punch you.”

  “Later.” Jesse gently pushed my hand down. “Birb, please read out your tasks word for word.”

  “Why do I have to? This is unjust treatment,” he snapped nervously.

  “We have a few reasons not to trust you,” Jesse pointed out with a little smile. “Come on, it’s not hard.”

  Angry_Birb opened his mouth in a way that suggested he was about to protest again, then hesitated. “Alright, fine. I’ll read it. Tasks.”

  Without turning my head, I let me eyes turn towards Wen Yong. He had paused in his struggles.

  “Task 1… Help the… guards track down… Hang Tuah… Task 2…”

  I slipped one of the daggers from Jesse’s belt and jabbed Wen Yong’s foot with it.

  Angry_Birb jumped with a yell of alarm.

  “Wow, weird,” I said, handing the dagger back to Jesse. “I stabbed Wen Yong but you were the one who jumped. Is there something going on? Don’t tell me Striking_Red_Crane has a telepathy skill or something?”

  Turning pale, Angry_Birb began to stammer.

  “Goddammit, there was no point in gagging him after all.”

  “STOP PISSING ME OFF, GOD!” I yelled at the ceiling.

  The textbox disappeared.

  Jesse squeezed my hand. “So, Birb? Are you going to tell us what your tasks really are?”

  The only response was the sound of Angry_Birb’s jaw clicking shut.

  I extracted my hand from Jesse’s, turned to Wen Yong and kicked him lightly. He made a funny sound, so I kicked him again.

  “Mik Tsaam, could I… talk to you?”

  “You’re talking to me now.” I replied, bemused.

  “Just the two of us.”

  “Not really.”

  Honestly? Terrifying. The thought of being alone some place with Jesse, face to face, with her gentle voice probing at –

  Better to stay in this room where I could distribute my anxiety between the man who killed one of my friends, a possible pervert masquerading as a woman, the handsome guy I should be impressing, the some-what friend who I had a child with, and –

  “Where’s Peach?”

  Calvin cleared his throat uncomfortably, and spoke without looking in my direction. “I assume she’s… Hang Tuah.”

  Oh. Oh.

  “Then this game can get fucked,” I said.

  Everyone nodded. Only Angry_Birb looked a little flustered. “But… Don’t we…”

  “What, has Wen Yong convinced you that another person needs to die? Does he think everyone will come back to life the way he did?”

  Lee Wai Meng, that shameless guy, looked more awkward than I had ever seen him. “Uh… M- Mik Tsaam? I think… Well, that might have been because of you.”

  “What?”

  “You used an Autopass to clear Scenario 4, right?”

  “And?”

  “Well, the wording of the Autopass is…” He made some gestures in the air in front of him. “‘Autopass activated. Scenario automatically completed… Players will now be returned to their lobbies.’ I think that means all players.”

  I kicked Wen Yong again. “So he’s a zombie.”

  “As tempting as it is, don’t keep kicking him, Mik Tsaam. We need to get through this scenario and it will probably take all of us. We should… try to get along.”

  “He killed Rohan.”

  “And this guy killed him,” snapped Angry_Birb, gesturing at Han Sung-hyuk.

  “I seem to remember you plastering yourself all over Han Sung-hyuk before,” I taunted. “Changed your tune, have you? Found a different sucker to reel in?”

  “Shut up! I’ve done nothing wrong!”

  “Except picking this guy as your new target. He’s a manipulative bastard.”

  “Mik Tsaam, I get you’re angry, but we need to find Peach and keep her safe.” Jesse glanced at Wen Yong, who had finally stopped struggling and lay like the dead. “Come on, everyone, can’t you see we need to work together to get out of this? If we keep fighting, someone’s going to die, and there’s no guarantee that if we die here, we’ll be okay in reality. So get your shit together!”

  She transferred her gaze to me. “I know… we’ve been through a lot. But we don’t have the luxury of parsing every bit of what we’ve dealt with. Not yet. In order to get to that safe place, we have to keep trying and cooperating. Understood?”

  More nods. Eventually, even Angry_Birb and Wen Yong nodded.

  As if I believed them.

  “Mik Tsaam… Take that thing off him. It’s not stopping him from using telepathy anyway. We need to form our strategy to beat this game.”