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Chapter 11: Show Emotion or not?

  Gadeon and Ami sit opposite Gaedric in his office, each on a chair facing the desk. Gaedric himself sits casually on the edge of it.

  Gadeon lounges back, one leg crosses over the other, fingers pressing together in a deliberate, rehearsed gesture — a clear attempt at a power pose.

  “What are you doing?” Ami glances at him, confused.

  Gadeon ignores him. He inhales slowly… then exhales, eyes closed, settling into a mock-zen state.

  Ami grows even more confused. He looks toward Gaedric for some kind of explanation.

  Gaedric merely shrugs, wearing the expression of a man who has seen this behaviour far too many times.

  Then, without warning, tears begin to well up in Ami’s eyes again — slow at first, then spilling over.

  Gaedric immediately straightens.

  “Hey,” he says softly. “What’s wrong?”

  Ami opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. The tears fall faster. He lowers his head, covering his mouth, trying to stop himself — but the crying only intensifies.

  Gadeon, still in his power pose, cracks one eye open, distracted by the sound. He watches faintly, silently.

  Gaedric slides off the desk and steps closer, crouching until he’s at Ami’s eye level. He gently pats Ami’s head, giving him space — time.

  Eventually, Ami manages to speak.

  “I-I’m so sorry, Gaedric-sensei… I’m so sorry,” he stammers, his voice breaking between sobs.

  Gaedric blinks, genuinely caught off guard.

  “Why are you apologising like this?” he asks gently. “Did something serious happen between you two?”

  He glances at Gadeon.

  “Nothing,” Gadeon replies flatly, looking away.

  Gaedric’s brow furrows.

  “Gadeon,” he snaps. “Look at the state your classmate is in. And you’re telling me nothing happened? What occurred to make him like this?”

  “I don’t know. Ask him,” Gadeon says again, brushing it off.

  Gaedric’s irritation deepens — but before he can speak, Ami cuts in.

  “It’s not his fault,” Ami blurts out. “I started it.”

  Gadeon’s eyes widen in shock.

  “I was walking through the hallway,” Ami continues, forcing himself to breathe. “We accidentally bumped into each other. He gave me a look I didn’t like, so I reacted rudely. I provoked him… and then I said some really awful things.”

  As he reaches the end of the sentence, his composure crumbles again — this time he fights to hold it together.

  “Oh,” Gaedric says quietly. “If that’s the case… what exactly is making you cry like this?”

  He pauses, then adds carefully, “And what awful things did you say to Gadeon? He doesn’t seem particularly bothered.”

  Ami shakes his head.

  “It wasn’t about Gadeon,” he confesses. “It was about you.”

  Gaedric blinks.

  “Me?”

  “Yes,” Ami says, voice trembling. “I’m sorry. I said horrible things about you. I insulted the fact you can’t use Chi-Lungs. I said you weren’t a real man because of it. I even brought up that you married someone outside the Tribe of Water… and insulted you for that too.”

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  Gaedric exhales slowly.

  “Oh… wow,” he says, genuinely surprised. Then he looks at Ami again.

  “What made you say all of that?”

  “I was scared,” Ami says.

  “Scared?” Gadeon blurts out, genuinely confused.

  “There was a crowd forming,” Ami continues, his voice breaking. “I didn’t want to look weak. I felt like I had to say something back — anything.”

  His hands clench. “And those were the things I could think of. That’s when Gadeon got angry… and we fought.”

  “I see,” Gaedric says quietly.

  “I felt insecure in that moment,” Ami admits through tears. “Like if I stayed silent, it would be embarrassing. Like it would ruin my image — my reputation. So I put on an act.”

  He shakes his head. “And I regret it.”

  “Argh,” Gadeon mutters, clicking his tongue in disgust.

  Gaedric turns sharply toward him. “What is it now?”

  “Why is he saying all that?” Gadeon snaps. “It was just a fight between two people. No need to start talking about being insecure. That’s it.”

  “I’m just being honest,” Ami says weakly.

  “You don’t always have to be honest,” Gadeon replies flatly.

  …Okay. I do feel a bit bad for making the kid cry, he thinks. I’ll make it up to him by giving him some advice. Advice grown men would literally pay for in my courses.

  “Huh?” Ami blinks. “But isn’t honesty a good thing?”

  “Always say less than necessary,” Gadeon says calmly.

  “Why?” Ami asks, genuinely confused.

  “Because silence creates mystery. Control,” Gadeon explains.

  “When you talk too much, you give people power over you.”

  Gaedric’s eye twitches.

  He does realise I’m right here, he thinks irritably.

  “When Gaedric asked me what happened earlier,” Gadeon continues, unfazed, “why do you think I said ‘nothing’? He doesn’t need to know.”

  Gaedric exhales slowly through his nose.

  “As men,” Gadeon adds, leaning back, “we don’t need to announce everything that happens to us. Some things are meant to be handled privately.”

  “Why though?” Ami asks quietly.

  “Because we’re males. That’s our role. We have to be strong,” Gadeon nods. Might as well use this chance to educate them. He’ll be surprised by my insight. After all, I’m a twenty-five-year-old man.

  “We have to handle things ourselves,” Gadeon continues. “Otherwise, we’ll be seen as weak.”

  “Seen as weak?” Gaedric repeats.

  “Yes. Seen as weak,” Gadeon confirms.

  Gaedric tilts his head. “So… we handle things ourselves to avoid being weak — because we’ll be seen as weak?”

  “What do you mean?” Gadeon asks, frowning.

  “I don’t get it either, Gaedric-sensei,” Ami adds.

  “He’s saying,” Gaedric explains calmly, “that if a man shows too much emotion, others will perceive him as weak. So he believes controlling or hiding emotion protects one’s image.”

  “Oh…” Ami murmurs. “So basically how I felt earlier. When I insulted your parents in front of the crowd — so I wouldn’t look weak.”

  “No,” Gadeon cuts in immediately. “That’s different. You were emotional. If you’d stayed calm, that’s when people wouldn’t see you as weak.”

  “But even then,” Ami says slowly, “isn’t that way of thinking still… stupid?”

  “Huh?” Gadeon blinks.

  “Let’s say there’s a guy who just expresses his emotions openly,” Ami continues.

  “People might think he’s weak. But the people close to him — the ones who actually matter — know he’s strong.”

  Ami clenches his hands.

  “So why does it matter what strangers think? I have friends who know who I really am. They know I’m not weak.”

  His voice drops. “But I still buy into that fear.”

  Gadeon exhales sharply.

  “Court attention at all costs,” he says.

  “Huh?” Ami looks at him again, confused.

  Gaedric raises an eyebrow.

  “…Explain.”

  Gadeon continues, his voice calm and assured.

  “Image matters more than truth, unfortunately. What you’re saying is… cute. But unrealistic.”

  “But we’re always taught not to judge a book by its cover, right, Gaedric-sensei?” Ami asks.

  Gaedric exhales. “Ideally, yes. But Gadeon isn’t entirely wrong. We do live in a world obsessed with image — who looks the strongest, who flexes the hardest, who appears dominant.”

  Heh. Even you get it, Gadeon thinks smugly.

  “So,” Gaedric continues, “what you’re saying is that weakness should be hidden to preserve influence. To protect one’s image.”

  “Exactly,” Gadeon says. “Think however you like — but behave like everyone else.”

  “I should be like other people?” Ami repeats quietly. His jaw tightens. “No way. I don’t want to be like you. You’re mean.” Ami clicks his tongue in irritation.

  Gadeon notices — and deliberately ignores it, forcing himself to stay composed.

  “I’m not saying become me,” Gadeon says. “I’m saying blend in. Don’t expose your true self. Honesty is sacrificed for safety.”

  He leans forward slightly.

  “Let this be a lesson. Honesty can risk your survival. Today, we could’ve been expelled for fighting — but limiting honesty helps us survive.”

  “I see…” Ami murmurs.

  Gadeon relaxes back into his chair.

  That should be enough. I’ve done my part. Maybe this will even straighten him out a little. I’m not cruel — I just care about men.

  “Thank you for sharing,” Ami says softly, “but I think that’s a weak way of living.”

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