“UGH… MY FUCKING HEAD KILLS,” JIM HUNTER GROANED as he awoke from his ‘drunken slumber’.
Disoriented due to a throbbing headache that he had gained from drinking copious amounts of alcohol at Layla Check’s House Party the night before, Jim slowly started to open his heavy bagged eyes.
Once they were fully opened, Jim caught sight of several townspeople who were all staring at him. Some in shock and others in laughter. This immediately confused the half-Italian seventeen-year-old as he slowly started to raise his haggard head.
When Jim finally tried to move he realized that he couldn’t.
“Huh? What the shizz?” Jim huffed as he looked down to see that his whole upper body was COVERED in gray duct tape.
Aside from this, Jim immediately noticed two other ‘shocking’ things as well.
Notice A: His entire torso and arms were ‘duct taped’ to the base of the statue of the town’s namesake; Sauk tribe Chief Keokuk.
Notice B: Jim was wearing nothing but his golden silk boxers.
Upon realizing that he had been stripped of all his clothes, Jim’s eyes widened in shock. He then looked around at several townspeople who had formed a moderate sized crowd around him.
“SON OF A BITCH,” a ‘way passed pissed off’ Jim cried out as he desperately tried to break free of the ULTRA-STRENGTH duct tape.
Emerging from the front of the crowd his two friends/fellow classmates, Kyle and Eric.
“OH SHIT,” Kyle uttered in shock after he and Eric had pushed their way up towards the front of the increasingly growing mob of ‘gawking’ and ‘finger pointing’ bystanders.
“OH, FUCK YEAH,” Eric gleefully remarked as he laughed hysterically at Jim, happily joining in with the surrounding townspeople.
Looking down at his two supposed ‘friends’ with a heinous expression his sweat-coated face, Jim took a brief second from trying to break free from the duct tape to shout, “Well, are your two ASSHOLES gonna just stare at me ALL DAMN MORNING or are ya gonna GET ME DOWN FROM THIS FUCKIN’ THING?!?!”
“Jim, how… Um… How did you… I mean, how did this …” Kyle fumbled until Jim erratically cut him off.
“I DON’T KNOW HOW THIS FUCKING HAPPENED, KYLE!” Jim shouted down at his bewildered ally. “JUST ME THE FUCK OFF THIS THING!!!”
Eric then doubled-over and let out HOWLING bouts of laughter.
“ERIC, CUT IT OUT! This is NOT funny, man,” Kyle snapped at his ‘laughing mad’ friend.
“YES IT IS, GORDON!” Eric spurted right back between laughs. “This is fucking GOLD, bro! SOLID GOLD, I say!!! HA-HA! SHIT!!! I SOOO gotta get a pic of this and post it on my PicDis.”
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.
Pulling out his UPhone, Eric started to take countless pictures of Jim and his, uh… plight.
“HEY!!! Put that fucking phone away, you prick!” Jim barked down at Eric. “I’LL BREAK DAT SHIT, FOOL!”
“And how in the hell are you plannin’ on doin’ that from all the way up there, Dingus?” Eric smirked as he continued on taking pictures of Jim.
“ERIC!!! FUCKING STOP,” Kyle suddenly thundered.
Kyle then slapped Eric’s UPhone out of his hands.
“HEY! What’d you do that for, you fuck?!” Eric yelled at Kyle.
Saying nothing, Kyle pointed up at Jim, causing Eric to nod in understanding.
“Oh, right… I see,” Eric replied. “Well, you still didn’t have to knock my fucking phone out of my hands, dude. That shit was SO NOT cool.”
“FUCKIN’ BILL ME. I DON’T CARE,” Kyle spat at Eric in a stern and sturdy voice. “Come on, E. We gotta get Jim down from there before your brother and the rest of L.C.S.D. show up.”
“Good call. I really don’t wanna deal with Rick’s bullshit today,” Eric agreed as he spoke about his older brother, who was a ‘Deputy’ of the Lee County Sheriff's Department.
Kyle and Eric then went to assist their Jim, who spouted, “THIS IS GREAT! JUST FUCKING GREAT!!! As if being a total ‘social pariah’ at School wasn’t enough now this shit happens to me?! JESUS!!! Urgh… When I fucking find out who in the hell did this to me I’m gonna make them fuckin’ pay!”
As Kyle and Eric started to peel the tape from Jim’s bare skin calling out to them from the front of the mob of townspeople was Keokuk Senior High School Senior Classman/Starting Varsity Quarterback (and sadistic bully), Brent Fuller.
“HA-HA!!! WELL LOOK AS THIS ‘STUCK-UP’ LOSER!” Brent seared as he and his fellow teammates/lackeys, Shaw and Greenberg, pulled out their own UPhones to take pics of Jim for their Tales on their PicDis Social Media apps.
“HEY, HUNTER! SAY CHEESE!!! HA-HA-HA!!!” Brent cackled as Jim looked down at him and glared intensely.
“Well, Dingus, I think I know who did this to you,” Eric smirked as Jim continued to stare daggers at Brent.
“URGH… MOTHERFUCKER!!!” Jim shouted at Brent and his lackeys, who laughed at him like a trio of hyenas.
“Alright, Jim. Now, I’m gonna pull this off on the count of three… GOT IT???” Kyle warned his friend as he grabbed onto the first piece of duct tape that was stuck onto the bare skin of his chest.
“URGH… JUST PULL IT THE FUCK OFF ALREADY!!!” Jim angrily demanded, to which Kyle nodded.
“Copy that, Chief. Here we go. On a count of three,” Kyle said in a shaky tone as he went to pull back on the first piece of duct tape. “ONE… TWO… THREE!!!”
RIIIIIIIIIIIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After one swift… and ROUGH pull, Kyle tore the first strip of duct tape off of Jim’s bare chest, relieving him of some skin and a few strands of the little chest hair that he had in the process.
Everyone in the crowd, including Brent and his goons, all gasped and winced in unison.
With a petrified expression on his face, Eric said, “Oh fuck.”
“JIM… I am SO fucking sorry, dude,” Kyle said out of shear guilt as he still held the piece of ‘skin and chest hair’ covered duct tape in his hands.
As for Jim, he tried to hold back the excruciating pain the best that he could… But it proved to be too much for him.
Looking up towards the partly cloudy morning sky that lay above the whole township of Keokuk, Iowa, Jim released a powerful pain-filled and rage-fueled yell that echoed all across town… And Lee County.
“FUUUUCCCCKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!”
