“Such a dismal place.” Remarked Loxo. “Why, I have half a mind to petition Princess Cassandra and Prince Damron to use the full force of their authority to rid the land of this eyesore of dankness and mud. Honestly, would anyone in the land be heartbroken at the thought of plant creatures and their swamp home being removed?”

  “It’s their habitat.” remarked Morell. “We didn’t have a problem with it until we were forced into it. Perhaps they’re just defending what’s theirs from outside forces who would see it removed.” Loxo’s eyes almost crossed from the statement.

  “Are you on their side now?” asked the pirate with some surprise. “I don’t know what you’re thinking about, young Morell, but I tend to think that if those thorn covered nasties happen to find us, they’ll eat us feet first just to see the looks on our faces while we scream. No, I believe I’ll continue to regard them as monsters. I like my feet right where they are, thank you.”

  “What if they were forced accidently to come into the area you call home?” asked the boy. “Wouldn’t you be aggressive to drive them out?”

  “No chance.” Laughed Atticus. “He’d be too drunk to fight anyone and would have to depend on the fighting ability of his legions of painted women to drive them off! Haha!”

  “Such insult!” Loxo said with an upturned nose and crossed arms. “I’ve never in my life been verbally assaulted so savagely in all my days! And just so you’d know, I’m more than capable of defending myself even with a belly full of wine. Hurumph! Legions of painted women, indeed! Speaking of full bellies, you wouldn’t happen to have any more scrumptious mushroom tidbits in that pack of yours, would you, Morell?”

  “I may have just one or two left.” Said Morell sadly. “If I do, it won’t be a lot, so don’t get your hopes too high.”

  “Oh, I’m certain the tiniest of morsels would be a feast! Do have a look in the pack of yours if you would be so kind.” Morell opened his pack once again and began pulling out small jars. As he pulled them out, he identified them:

  “Don’t know, don’t know, poison, poison, herbal, poison, don’t know, more poison, polyphylectic…”

  “Ooh!” said Loxo. “You didn’t call those poison!” he pointed at the mushrooms with blue blemishes on the stems. “Can we eat those?”

  “I haven’t studied those enough. When I gave bits to animals I trapped near my home, they became docile for several hours but never seemed to be ill from eating them.”

  “So, we can eat them.” Asked Loxo.

  “I’m not so sure that would be the best idea. I’ve tasted a little of the cap myself, but even the tiniest of nibbles can have ‘strange’ effects.”

  “Like what?” asked Atticus.

  “I took some before bed time and they gave me colorful dreams.”

  “They feed you and give you colorful dreams? Say no more!” said Loxo snatching a handful of cap and throwing them in his mouth.

  “No, wait! Loxo, stop!” cried the boy. But it was too late. The pirate was already chewing and smacking his lips.

  “I hope they produce better dreams than they produce flavor, my boy.” He said, licking his fingers and making a face of disgust. “They taste like they’ve grown in a road apple.”

  “That’s where I tend to find them.” Frowned Morell. “They germinate well in poop.”

  “Augh!” the pirate grimaced. “Morell, why would you give me ‘shit shrooms’ to eat?”

  “You didn’t ask him where they grew.” Remarked Atticus. “You just helped yourself without asking. You’d better hope they’re not poisonous. We don’t have medicine to get you out of whatever trouble your stomach might’ve just gotten you into.”

  “Oh, pish and pashaw.” Loxo waved at him dismissively. “Morell is well read and mastered all the mushrooms. I trust the scrutiny of his work without question.”

  “I’m not entirely sure about these.” Said Morell meekly. “I’ve never tested these special ones on another person before.”

  “Then I shall be the first!” exclaimed the pirate. “Yes, I’ll be the first brave soul to venture testing these edible mushrooms and you’ll write all about my heroism in your little tome there. Here will be a full account of my daring to further plant study. Indeed, every king in the land will want to have me in their court!”

  “I don’t know why a king would need a second fool in their court.” Grumbled Atticus. “And keep your voice down. We don’t know if any of those nasty plants are nearby. The last thing we need is to attract one’s attention. Morell? Are there any of the peppery mushrooms left in your stores?”

  Stolen story; please report.

  “I have one left.” Said Morell, already offering it to the man.

  “Shouldn’t you eat it if it’s the last one?” asked Atticus

  “You’d better eat it. You’ll need your strength to carry me. Go ahead, I don’t mind.” Smiled the boy.

  “You really don’t mind?”

  “No. I’ll keep an eye on Loxo. If he doesn’t show any bad signs from ingesting the polyphyletic then I’ll eat some myself. That way everyone gets something in their stomach.”

  “If you’re okay with it then I’m okay with it. Thank you, Morell.” Said the soldier, taking the mushroom and sinking his teeth into it. After a short rest and a bit of water, the three carried on for some time. And as Morell rode upon Atticus’ back he watched Loxo who seemed to be having no adverse effects other than being a little more talkative than usual, if that was possible.

  “How do you feel?” asked Morell. “No bad effects?”

  “Quite the contrary!” said Loxo. “I feel invigorated! Why I bet if I stared down ten men with swords, I could have them running from the place! I have so much vigor! I feel invincible! I could battle a hundred wild beasts if I had to!”

  “That’s all well and good.” Atticus sighed. “But keep your voice down! We’re trying to evade those plant nasties, not tell them where we are!”

  “It’s been awhile, and he seems fine.” Said Morell. “If Loxo has extra energy maybe I could eat some.” He fished the jar out of his bag as he was carried and found the jar. Famished, He grabbed a fistful of the blue stemmed polyphyletic and shoved it in his mouth. The taste was awful, but he chewed and chewed until it was mashed enough to wash down with some water. “Eeeuuuaawwgghhh!” Morell spit and shook his head with disgust. “I feel like I just ate poop!”

  “Then I’m glad you gave me the peppery one.” Said Atticus.

  “Yes, i feel invincible!” shouted Loxo at the top of his lungs, pulling his sword to wave it about with abandon. “Come one and all you vegetable fiends! come and get your leaves split in twain by your new master!”

  “Loxo!” Atticus hissed through gritted teeth “Loxo, you fool, you’re going to get us killed! Shut your fool head!”

  “I’M not afraid of anything! I’LL HACK AND SLASH OUR ADVERSARIES TILL THERE’S nothing left! leave it all to me!”

  “Hop off, boy.” Seethed Atticus “I have to stifle this fool.” He set Morell down on a small dry patch and hurried off after Loxo. Upon seeing the man beginning to chase after him, Loxo picked up a high kicking step to stay just out of reach of the man as he giggled and laughed. It was then that his gel, Jam, came tumbling out of his pocket. “What are you doing out?” he asked. “You’d better get inside so you don’t get lost.” Without taking his eyes off the two men tromping about the bog, Morell reached into his pack. Without looking, he found a jar, took the lid off and plopped Jam inside before resealing his pack.

  “Come, atticus! hoo hoo!” Loxo laughed and splashed. “Come and catch me! yes! CHASE ME LIKE I’M A NAUGHTY LITTLE PIGGY WHO’S been eating all the vegetables in your garden! hoo hoo! hahaa! YOU MUST CATCH ME AND PUNISH ME OR I’ll eat all of your crops! delicious turnips and parsnips and lettuces and tomatoes and potatoes all for this fat little piggy oink! oink! oink!” Further and further the pair ran into the fog leaving poor Morell behind to stand on one good foot with nothing but his pack and mace. After a while, neither one came back.

  “Atticus?...Atticus?...Atticus?” His voice echoed in the grey mist obscuring everything outside of ten paces “Loxo?...Loxo?...Loxo? Anyone…one…one..?”

  A short time passed. Then a long time passed. Morell curled up next to the stump of a tree rotting in the dampness. He felt cold so he unrolled his blanket to wrap around himself. It hadn’t been in the daylight anytime recently, so it didn’t retain any of the warmth he might’ve hoped for. Instead, it was only a simple cover for which he was still grateful. The grey bogs of Steelbrair and the eeriness that came with it was as unsettling as any place he’d even been before. It was better than the biting cold atop Faustacon Mountain, but without the others to keep him company, it was more terrifying to be alone. The silence was more unnerving than anything. Other than the buzz of the occasional bug in his ear there was nothing to break up the nothingness. No songs of birds, no chirp of grassy insects when they rubbed their legs, no croaks of frogs to offer the illusion of familiarity….just nothing. Now and then he thought he heard Atticus returning only for it to be a ghostly sound that never repeated itself the same way.