4
The First Circle
It was like stepping into the set of an apocalypse movie. A disaster movie with no shortage of themes.
The heart of a city that had seen far better days, sirens of ashen black already destroyed vehicles on fire were going off. How or why that was even possible I could not say, but those noises were drowned out by the shouts of horror, promises of death, and profanity the likes I couldn’t help but be genuinely impressed by.
I dashed towards one of the prop cars, taking refuge in any cover at all in the already exposed four way street.
Across the street, a bare footed woman wearing a beige trench coat and a black fedora managed to duck just in time, a flying junior sized monster missing its target by mere inches. When I say junior, I literally mean it was probably no larger than 4 feet in total length. It landed on a construction that looked a lot like a modern stable, three more destroyed yet somehow still ablaze sedan cars crammed into its designated spots that were definitely not intended for motor vehicles.
Extending its wings and letting out a roar that put every post-pubescent dragon I’ve ever heard to shame, I really hoped that the little guy couldn’t read thoughts after seeing what had happened next.
A gorgeous mix of bright green, orange and pink enveloped the woman, her curiosity in the creature being the reason for her demise.
Still better than getting eaten by kids. I think. Probably.
Earth’s Greatest Cat Trainer
Rank: 732,879
??1
Monster: Jr. Drakur
HP: 2,500
Damage: 500(E)
“YEAAA YOU LIKE THAT YOU LITTLE MASOCHIST TELETU-” Another ranker, an elderly man wearing nothing but a vikings helmet shouted, only to be cut off abruptly.
Stumbling around like he had just taken several shots too many, his hands failed to grab onto the door of a western style tavern behind him, simply dissolving into a pile of the familiar powder dust before his body had even hit the ground.
Earth’s Greatest Worm Pick-
It all happened so fast, I couldn’t even get a full read on his profile.
While no actual corpse would litter the entrance of the tavern, the weapon responsible for the killing did. Lying on the top of a pile of gray dust that already began to form the chalkmark of his corpse was a spear.
Or so I thought.
As if it had a mind of its own, the shimmering silver weapon lifted itself off the ground, revealing lines of alien gibberish I couldn’t possibly make out. As it turned itself around, the fiery tip of a radiating orange arrow head showed itself for the slightest moment until disappearing again. It shot across the street, avoiding several other rankers, creatures, and random props until reaching the glass panel of a skyscraper. It once again went through the motion of rotating, and as the arrow pointed towards the sky briefly yet again, it shot up once more. Reaching a floor that had been its destination, it suddenly came to a halt before a hand snapped it out of the air. While I couldn’t make out the figure or get a read on them from this distance, I had a fairly good idea of what was going on.
Tower camping. Great.
Deciding to finally join in on the action, I raised my claws.
A group of creatures hairless everywhere except for their dog like paws charged a ranker that had just come sprinting out of the tavern. The ranker, a guy in his young twenties thankfully still wearing his default underwear and missing his right arm, was too busy looking behind his back to take notice of me.
I didn’t hesitate, dashing in his direction and immediately triggering the emperor’s boots that allowed me to step directly within striking distance. Like the other consumables and items, stepping through the space between us and teleporting felt as if I’d done it my whole life.
My claws dug into the man's chest, repeatedly ripping into his body and attacking in their barbaric auto attack manner. There was a certain spot that I found myself repeatedly aiming for. I felt my claws strike true across a certain spot just at the center of his abdomen, and wondered if that was the natural place to aim for. Or maybe the most lethal place to strike was dependent on the kind of weapon used.
Probably not the things to think about when murde-eliminating someone.
Thankfully there was no blood. While the system loved its overuse of ragdoll physics, the man simply stared down at his chest in surprise, then horror, as the claws did their work. I tried giving the man an apologetic smile when our eyes met just before he turned to dust, but when he analyzed me and looked disappointed at who he had been killed by, I let my smile fade. His body dissolved into a pile of dust in front of me, the remains already beginning to form what would be the chalkline of the deceased body in the near future. I was also pleasantly surprised with the much more potent stat increases I was rewarded following the kill.
[You Have Eliminated Earth’s Greatest Anime Critic!]
Earth's Greatest Anime Critic
Rank: 341,691
??7
Automatically absorbing the colorful spoils the man had dropped, I welcomed the newest items added to my arsenal and especially the pleasant warming of my feet.
Consumable: Healing Salvation(Epic) x2
- Fully restores health and negates minor poison effects over 60 seconds. Taking any damage throughout this process will cancel any further healing.
Consumable: Potion Of Speed(Divine) x1
- Grants user 500% movement speed for 10 seconds.
Cosmetic: Midlife Crisis Sneakers(Legendary)
- +40% movement speed
- Tracer Effect: Leave behind a fog of mist that prevents the lock-on mechanic from legendary and lower tier ranged weapons.
Constantly moving in random zigzag patterns while reading the descriptions, there is an absurdity to always having to move. I imagined myself being the camping ranker on the roof, looking down on the streets to see random mostly naked people running around like a bunch of idiots. The thought became even more amusing when imagining a group of people awkwardly strafing in opposite directions while trying to have a conversation.
It was either look like a fool or end up with the tip of an arrow poking out from my chest.
Correction-spear arrow.
Continuing my way through the busy street and hacking down any monsters that got too close, I came to an abrupt stop as I saw what appeared to be a bitch slap marathon.
Surrounding a ranker was a group of seven creatures that looked like a disturbing mix of man and sloth. Human because, well, from the toes up to most of their body, they stood and appeared just as normal. Normal, that is, until you reached the neck up and the elbow down. Instead of pink hairless skin that looked like they fell asleep in a sauna overnight, they were literal sloths from the neck up, bearing that constantly amused expression. More disturbing even were their arms. Instead of extended furry arms and extended claws to climb trees, these creatures had arms that would definitely break if they tried to straighten them all the way to the ground. No claws.
Monster: Slappa
HP: 400
Damage: 10(E)
The victim, a woman wearing a coconut bikini and a black and red Scottish kilt, took blow after blow, head coming up as if waking from a daydream, only to be sent to another immediately before recovering.
Ranker: Greatest Flag Designer
Rank: 701,972
??2
Throwing one of my fiery shuriken, the black obsidian steel struck the woman in the chest to no avail. I threw several more, the second and third also registering before the fourth turned her into dust.
[You Have Eliminated Earth’s Greatest Flag Designer!]
As with the others, I had no way of knowing what would happen to the woman after dying here. If she was to be a spectator, however, I imagine she would have preferred that kind of elimination to what would have been a slow, inevitable and confusing death.
Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
Staring down at the dust on their feet in confusion, the Slappas looked around in confusion. When they fixed their eyes on me, that most entertained expression returned.
I studied the way they attacked the woman before I engaged them. As the first of the creatures got within striking distance and wound up to attack, I dashed backwards double the distance between us and let it swipe at air. It was similar to fighting the Timmy back in school, where I made sure to stay away from their attacking range and closed in with my claws as their attacks went through the cooldown phase. As their health lowered, however, their attacks sped up significantly and I found myself evading a lot more than I originally planned. Deciding to not risk possibly getting stunned in the middle of die from absolutely everywhere possible, I used my remaining fiery shuriken for the killing blows of the beasts.
Another significant boost of energy. Another increase to my stats.
Consumable: Healing Salvation(Epic) x1
- Fully restores health and negates minor poison effects over 60 seconds. Taking any damage throughout this process will cancel any further healing.
While Flag Designer didn’t have anything special, the sight of her poker card necklace dropping alongside her corpse did remind me of something important. I checked the timer of my own citizenship.
[8m34s]
Remembering the rules, I inspected the card on the ground: 44 ??. Game of Might.
It was a no brainer.
Bending down to place my own 42 ?? on top of her card two suddenly locked onto each other.
A white shimmering light slipped out from between them, the cards beginning to float and separating further. I watched in awe as the numbers, symbols of both of them dissolved in a uniform manner from top to bottom, finding themselves now stuck on the other card.
When the process was complete, I inspected my card again to confirm th-
Air.
A sense of gravity suddenly shifting accompanied by the feeling of whiplash as I heard an explosion near my left go off. I had no idea what it was that sent me flying, but was gratefully I wasn’t the source of impact. Focusing on a thin patterned white window ledge of a second story apartment building, I triggered my boots to teleport to jump.
Air once more. I recalled there being something about a specific distance I could jump. Coming out of the step just inches away from my target resulted in my manically figure trying to grab onto anything, and missing everything.
I fell.
I let out a a shout of pain as I landed ass first on a zebra crosswalk that was impressively clear of any monsters, human limbs,props, and even litter. A sharp pain ran up my feet and legs, thankfully no further than that. I spared a glance back in the direction I had jumped from, seeing the mystical portal that opened up-and was still open right then. Floating a foot off the ground and definitely not tall person friendly, the sphere of glowing purple radiating white energy became more faint as seconds counted by. Fading away, it simply vanished when the timer of the mechanism ran its course.
Luckily, I was not short on healing.
Getting back on my feet and resuming the constant random zig zag and strafing patterns to avoid death from above, I summoned a jar of what looked like..jam?
Consumable: Healing Salvation(Epic) x1
- Fully restores health and shields over 30 seconds. Taking any damage throughout this process will cancel any further healing.
Summoning the healing salve was like any other consumable, my hand reaching for a pocket of space to my side and somehow coming up with what looked like a jar containing green jam. I triggered the animation of the salve, and my hands acted on their own. I felt like a powerlifter going for a PR when my hands both gripped the floating jar infront of me, veins throbbing on both arms as I opened the lid. Dipping into the jar first with one hand then the other, I began slapping myself all over my body with the substance on my finger tips.
This pattern continued for a while, dipping greedily into the floating jar of healing as I slapped every -and I mean every part of my body with it. Every slap of healing resulted in a pleasant numbing feeling that completely the pain that had been there just moments ago. The numbing effect eventually went away too, replacing itself with a pleasantly cool feel. After that, well, all was back to normal.
I managed to avoid any monsters in my path while my healing process finished its animation, often encountering those slapping creatures but never coming close enough to be within hitting range. The flying creatures, which must have been a city staple by the amount I had seen already, were also too busy with other rankers to take notice of me.
I’d occasionally make eye contact with other rankers, but their disturbed expression at seeing what I was doing to my lower body was enough to make them uncomfortable and look for a new target.
An older European style vintage bakery caught my attention, and I triggered my boots, stepping into the space just outside the door. Claws at the ready and having waited for the boots cooldown to wear off, I slowly opened the door.
Baked goodies, bread, and even some odd baking appliances and equipment I couldn’t even name greeted me. I closed the door carefully behind me, and made my way to a second door behind the counter. I had to plan. My citizenship timer was running down and I still had not found a game arena for my 44 ??.
[4m02s]
A familiar sound I had not heard since the starting building became more audible the closer I approached the door. Allowing myself to lower guard, I smiled as I swung the door open and saw what awaited me.
Sitting on an island counter surrounded by trays of assorted donuts, croissants, and all sorts of other baked delicious goods, was a sight to behold.
While the previous chest was a respectable size and glowed from the ground up a fiery orange, this one was significantly larger. A vibrant fiery bright white outlined the table around the chest, running up the corners of the chest and emitting a smoking hue effect around the room. The symbols engraved in glowing white symbols on the front center were still unreadable to me, but the locking mechanism was all too familiar.
[Hidden Mythic Arena Chest Found!]
A pinata explosion of vibrant shimmering white, purple and orange erupted from the chest, scattering into all directions of the room and some of the objects even automatically finding me.
Consumable: Lesser Potion Of Invulnerability(Mythic) x1
- Grants the ranker invulnerability for 15 seconds.
Consumable: Healing Salvation(Epic) x1
- Fully restores health and shields over 30 seconds. Taking any damage throughout this process will cancel any further healing.
UNIQUE ITEM: Reaper’s Redeemer(Legendary)
- A powerful retrievable throwing axe that deals 2000 damage upon impact. Charging the item before throwing will significantly increase its range and damage. Note: If an enemy significantly more powerful than you successfully catches this item, they may claim the item from you.
It was an incredible pickup. A whole fifteen seconds of invulnerability seemed overkill for even the mythic tier, and I would have been happy enough had that been the only loot.
A retrievable, significantly more powerful throwing damage dealer of the legendary rarity was also a welcome boon as there was no way for me to fight anything ranged since using up the last of my Shuriken stars.
There was a legendary mauler weapon unique to that of the Knight class which I could make no use of, but a shimmering white set of football shinpads that equipped themselves to my legs once I came close enough to them.
Spiked Football Cleats(Mythic)
- 60% movement speed
- Tracer Effect: Changing trajectory causes two temporary after images of the user to form, running in the previous and current trajectory. Cloned after images of the user are cosmetic only, deal no damage, and last 20 seconds. Cooldown 20s.
Cloned images that could potentially confuse enemies every 20 seconds.
Holy shit.
While I felt faster after picking up every cosmetic item so far, this time felt and looked different. Not only did I move from end of the room the other faster, but trailing the fog of my sneakers was a visible tracer, lines of light that were clearly visible before fading after a short duration.
Is this where we were heading? Everyone eventually appearing to each other as blinks of lights flashing by?
I also gave myself the chance to check out my most recent gains.
Earth’s Greatest Sandwich Artist
Rank: 582,101
??2
Hunter, Level 15
(40 stat points available)
UNIQUE ITEM: Emperor’s Boots(Immortal)
- Once every 10 seconds, teleport to any visible location within 100m. Creates a permanent rift(usable by anyone for 30s before fading; using rift reveals your position for 5 seconds)
UNIQUE ITEM: Reaper’s Redeemer(Legendary)
- A powerful retrievable throwing axe that deals 2000 damage upon impact. Charging the item before throwing will significantly increase its range and damage. Note: If an enemy significantly more powerful than you successfully catches this item while it is in the air, they may claim this item from you.
UNIQUE ITEM 3: Empty
UNIQUE ITEM 4: Empty
UNIQUE ITEM 5: Empty
UNIQUE ITEM 6: Empty
Consumable 1: Healing Salvation(Epic) x3
- Fully restores health and shields over 30 seconds. Taking any damage throughout this process will cancel any further healing.
Consumable 2: Potion Of Speed(Divine) x1
- Consumable potion that grants user 500% movement speed for 10 seconds.
Consumable 3: Lesser Potion Of Invulnerability(Mythic)
-Grants the ranker invulnerability for 15 seconds.
Weapon: Claws Of Contempt(Legendary)
- +60 Damage
- Normal attacks deal 10% splash damage to nearby enemies
Darkness Rune Shard x42
Chaos Rune Shard x28
Chance Rune Shard x21
Awakening available upon reaching lvl 50.
[20 Points allocated to Agility]
[20 Points allocated to Agility]
Despite my slower entry into the circle and having limited farming time, I had made respectable progress. No longer was I a default ranker, and I can proudly say that I had survived the first twenty minu-
I paused.
Remembering the timer at the very bottom of the screen, accompanied by the warming sensation around my chest, I noted that my poker card had turned itself over and was pointing to a specific direction outside the bakery.
[0m28s]
Shit.
