Dumbfounded by my unexpected fortune, I almost forgot to pose my question, which unsurprisingly enraged the amazing creature. The head? The skull? Which part is it exactly? No! Definitely not that question. I must hurry and speak before accidentally discovering that it can read my mind.

  Waving my hand, I pull out my light, grab its edge, and rotate it to face the serpent. Pointing at my broken attributes and the error message, I energetically nod.

  “Der! Wat scarr? Gib ween?” I confidently request, glad to have accurately described my question before some idle musing accidentally ruins my only chance.

  “Oh?” the serpent laughs, methodically spreading an odd, uncanny smile across its giant face. “Does the anomaly complain that his freely taken gift does not meet his high standards? That he must fully live two incredibly lucky and unbelievably privileged little lives?”

  This giant snake asks an awful lot of questions for someone claiming to be offering answers. What’s his deal?

  “Yas?” I abashedly reply, placing an arm across my chest and making a low, respectful bow.

  “Foolishness or conceit, he demands far more than he deserves,” the serpent snidely remarks up towards his peers before turning back to me. “Know that the price for something this grand will not be cheap. Are you certain that someone as small and insignificant as you can bear that cost?”

  Again, the inquisitive snake dodges my request, only asking more and more of its own questions. Is this a trick? I’ve managed to learn so much about tricks and traps in song, and this is certainly suspicious. However, there’s nothing obviously wrong with his words yet.

  “Yas! Gib ween!” I courageously declare, mustering as much confidence as my scared, shaky legs can manage.

  “Marvelous,” the serpent manically moans through his creepy, toothy smile. “Then I shall explain. To start…”

  The serpent lowers his snout until it lightly taps the panel of light suspended between us. Alarmingly, that simple action causes it to dim significantly. No! I have to stop him! However, what can I do against this horrifying creature and all his friends? We’re so greatly outnumbered. Should I have grown the team more than I did?

  The panel slowly returns to its usual level of brightness, and I frantically spin it back around to face me. Is everything alright? Is it still working?

  What’s this? It’s legible now? What did he do?

  “Consider this another free gift for the truly undeserving. Perhaps I intrude a tad on the blood’s responsibilities, but this minor infraction is necessary to explain the true cost of the deal. After all, you must comprehend fully before offering your ultimate approval.”

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  The blood? What does that aspect have to do with status? Should I have visited him instead? Do we even have a word for blood?

  “As you can obviously see, nothing is broken with your precious status. Aside from it clearly being dead. Fitting for its new host. It’s simply that these are not tools designed for the dirty, little bodies of your kind. After all, a goblin climbing the ladder? The fallen rising again? Utterly ridiculous and contemptible!”

  The swarm of yellow eyes raucously hiss and jiggle again at his final, loud declaration. What is this? They are mocking me! Am I just a little joke to them? Maybe I really can’t trust this giant, silver tongued serpent.

  “However, a deal is a deal. A question asked, an answer offered. How do you fix any improper, untenable, entwined relationship? Why, you force it! With spice and flavor to cover the rot. With distraction and amusement to hide the failure. You add, you add, you add!”

  The serpent dances and bobs about in time with his speech, now synchronizing with the movement of the other eyes. Clearly his grand announcement has entertained them all. Ridiculous fools, he claims that I'm the one drowning in a proud conceit?

  “Oh, exceptional, insignificant, minuscule finger of the hand. Perhaps this absurd, little interruption truly does possess merit!”

  The already loud hissing reaches even higher crescendo of uproarious excitement. It fills me with a vast, intimidating terror that none of the other abominations ever achieved. Who is this head? This snake? His friends? All of us are supposedly aspects of this same Will, but then why don’t I feel as though we’re really on the same side?

  My deep mind welling up inside me, it spills over the mind mud’s desperate objections and firmly latches onto my faculties. Against the more prudent judgement of the mud, I feel my vocal chords tensing. My throat relaxing into a more extremely widened path. My mouth slips opens, and my tongue extends.

  “OooRRRAAAAAAAAHWRR!” I defiantly roar at the countless, wretched serpents cowardly hiding in the darkness.

  How dare they laugh at me! How dare they question me! How dare they limit me!

  “Gib ween! Gib fras! Non jok!” I continue raging into the horrifying face hovering just inches before me.

  Instinctually, I protectively pull Ha’koff’s leash closer to me, ready to defend all that’s mine. I won’t take this disrespect any longer. I won’t tolerate an inferior acting above his station!

  “Comrades, we’ve upset our dear guest!” the serpent manages to get out between jerking, bubbly hisses. “Of course, of course, I shall continue. The answer, dear guest, is to install a ride along. A translator. A dear guest of your own!”

  Reaching into the darkness with his shockingly agile, forked tongue, the serpent brings back a single piece of fruit and tenderly places it at my feet.

  “With this knowledge, your burden will dramatically increase. However, it will certainly bring you closer to those silly existences that you foolishly worship. What do you all call them? The bigger ones. The stock.”

  Breath still racing, I clumsily try to force my wild emotions to calm down. Rage. Fury. Revenge! Being this close to him, I can hardly control myself. However, I do still somehow manage to lean over, take the fruit, and toss it into my pack for safe keeping. Maybe this one little thing of value can come from this total mishap?

  “Good. Eat of the fruit. Then our pact will be complete and you shall have your answer.”

  The serpent retracts into the darkness. All the other eyes appear to follow, likely bored by their used up play thing. We’re left in total darkness again. I can feel Ha’koff’s tiny form curled up and uncontrollably trembling against my leg.

  I suppose we got what we came here for? Stupid, what did I think would happen? I really have grown too proud. Challenging the true horrors of this place is the surest way of losing my first mud. Can’t be foolish enough to risk that again.

  “Peed,” I hoarsely whisper into the awaiting abyss. “Con dur. Gew peet.”

  Once more, a tiny light shines in the darkness. A way home. There’s always a way home, right?