I lack a body. What is this infernal place? I must be dead. I must be... wait, what is that glimmer? --2.1 Seconds Post-Integration.

  Clark couldn't question the intelligence before a new display visualized on the blue screen. This new pop up took up his attention, wiping from his mind his helper's strange words.

  The words 'Main Menu' appeared at the top of the screen. Just below, on its own line, was 'Associate Name:' and then his own, 'Cola Clark.' What mystified him was how after his name was 'Lv.1.' What was this all about? He wondered.

  As if on cue, SIMP provided him with a convenient answer: "As a new employee, you have much to learn. We know with magpies like yourself that it is better to take it slow, so your humble heads don't get overworked and burnt out. Let's start at the very beginning."

  Clark straightened his back to show attentiveness. Could the fake smarts entity that was the AI understand such nuance? He didn't see why not.

  "Firstly, let me provide for you an overview of your orientation. Soon, you will have your lunch break. After lunch, you will fill out various forms and watch a wide number of educational videos on the proper working methodology. Until then, we will go over the basic progression systems at Augustford and how you will need to utilize these systems in order to advance yourself in the company. Firstly, let us review Imbued Power..."

  On his blue screen, a golden aura highlighted the 'Lv.' bit hanging off his name in line one.

  "This," the voice reinforced, "is your Imbued Power Level or I.P.L for short. Currently, your level stands at [1]. To increase your IPL, earn [XP] by performing well in your day-to-day workings within your hired department or Occupational Authority. You also earn XP passively by being clocked in and on Augustford property. Once your IPL reaches certain milestone levels, you will be promoted. Think of your IPL as a summary of everything you have been through while employed for Augustford."

  Seems simple enough: do your job, earn XP, and then earn some more besides. Passive acquirement, eh? I can do that...

  He repeated to Sire Augustford the information. No objections to his summary, Clark said "Next!" and informed the intelligence he was ready to continue.

  "The next progression tract you must learn is the Core Metric System. 'Core Metrics' are the base labor standard for all hourly employees of Augustford Omni-National. The Core Metrics are Honor, Endurance, Sincerity (AKA, 'Speed'), Insight, Niceness, and Verbiage. Or 'HE-SIN-V' for short."

  On the Main Menu, a new line appeared underneath 'Associate Name.' The new line read 'Core Metrics: Below Base.'

  The System continued its explanation: "Performance in the Core Metric sub-system results in one of three overall judgement scores: Below Base; At Base; or Above Base. I feel these explanations are self-explanatory... but you kids always need your hand held, yeah?" Clark said not a word: the path of least resistance coincided with letting the rude helper speak uninterrupted. "Below Base means you are performing under the standard and will be fined appropriately for your slacking. Don't worry. Augustford never makes you pay these fines out of pocket. We subtract it directly from your check." They are going to fine my compensation if I don't work myself to their needs? Well... I did agree to work for them. Fair? I will just have to work hard and avoid those fines! Wait: the screen says 'below base'... aren't I already in danger of being fined -- crap! Clark continued to listen to Sire Augustford's Voice but did so with a minor worry in his heart. "At Base is when you are performing at the minimum to not be disciplined. Don't think too much of this one. Finally, Above Base: which is the better end of the three-pronged spectrum if you ask me. If you reach Above Base, you will be rewarded. Above Base is also called the Prime Standard. Most of your co-workers will be laboring at Above Base. Aim to mimic their work ethic."

  "It says below base, now. I only began, though...?" he asked the intelligence, needing to know the answer.

  "You are in training right now. Your Main Menu will display Below Base until you are finished with the tutorial. Fines will not be applied to your account for working at Below Base during the tutorial."

  With relief replacing the worry in his chest, Clark made a mental note to pay close attention to how to keep his Core Metrics high. He suspected the intelligence was about to tell him -- and it did!

  "To keep your Core Metrics high, simply aim to labor according to Augustford policies. Practice Core Metrics every chance you can while at work."

  "Wait. Practice? Like a sport?" he asked.

  "I will explain. Remember the acronym HE-SIN-V: 'If a fellow worker is 'in a mood,' practice Niceness to them. If a customer is uncooperative, remember to demonstrate Honor to the Augustford Policy Code and treat the customer well regardless of their inconsiderate actions. And so on. 'E' is for Endurance, which means as you think it would mean -- you endure the physical repercussions of work without complaining. Would you like a complete breakdown of each Metric?"

  Clark thought about how long a total breakdown might take and decided against it. He wanted to get right to work right away. If Core Metrics is merely indication of how effectively he works, then he reckoned it would be easy enough for him to learn on the fly. "No thank you. I think I get the idea. When am I judged for my Core Metric performance?"

  Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.

  "You are judged," the intelligence remarked, "all the time. You can check the judgement of individual interactions under the [Status] screen."

  On his bluescreen, next and to the right of Below Base on line two, now was the word 'Status' but within a set of brackets.

  "How do I check judgements using the blue screen?" he asked.

  "Why would you want to check the screen? Thers's nothing... you kids. Focus your mind on the element of the screen you wish to interact with. Consider your ability to think as your mind's very own set of hands. 'Mental Hands,' so to speak.

  Following SIMP's instructions, he focused his mind on 'Status.'

  To his surprise, a new screen filled the blue box. It was a list of interactions he had since coming to Augustford Central. None of the interactions had an associated judgement. He did see where judgement would appear on the blank space. It was right after the interaction and consisted of a pair of parenthetical quotation marks filled with an 'N/A.'

  He closed out of the screen. His attention returned to the Main Menu.

  "Alright. I get it. Next informational tidbit, please."

  "The third and fourth level progressions factors for Augustford employees are as respectively follows: Spec-Labor and Opportunities. Specialized labor denotes the hired profession or Occupational Authority. Until you reach level 25, a spec-labor department will be impossible to join. And don't think for a minute you can bribe your way in or ask someone above you in rank to let you in -- that is all controlled by the System! Seriously, kid, don't even think of trying to cheat the System; you will be super-fired so blasted fast your head will spin for days!"

  Clark understood what the machine-mind person was saying: and it matched what he had learned while on the virtual information superhighway. That is what I want. Spec-labor. The real paycheck. He knew better than to try and cheat the System. Chaotic though the world he came from was, everyone could agree it was counter-productive in the extreme to try and undermine a gods-built megastructure.

  "What are 'opportunities,' then?" he asked.

  "I am getting to that, whippersnapper! but, okay. You've been patient, haven't you? Like a good boy--" the voice let hardness out of their tone like a father reluctantly praising their son. "Opportunities are positive blowback. Simple rewards for good working performances. FOR EXAMPLE, if a customer is pitching a fit because they can't return an item through a self-serve lane and you come up all helpful like and direct them to the nearest manned lane, and are super nice and quick while doing it, you might qualify to earn an Opportunity or a 'Loot Box,' as the kids say. Opening one of these will result in a minor reward. Usually, either Judgement Points, XP, Promotion Points, or even direct paycheck enhancements."

  Things are getting complex, Clark intoned to himself.

  "Sounds awesome. I am all for it already!" he said to keep his enthusiastic mask up.

  "Would you like a few minutes to review?" the screen now displayed.

  "Yes," he said. He muttered aloud the process he had thus far learned: You earn XP both passively and by performing the job one was hired to do in order to level up your Imbued Power, also called one's associate ranking. The higher this number, the more promotions you get and the fatter your check gets; Okay: I got that. Next, Core Metrics, the bedrock of the Augustford work ethic and how management will be expecting me to labor. If I don't meet standards, fines will be applied. Next is Spec-Labor but that won't be for a good while. So, then, opportunities, which give me a random resource payout; one such resource, judgement points, might be used to reinforce slagging Core Metrics.

  He reviewed the information once more in his head. He looked to the System expectedly.

  "You have displayed familiarity with the basic progression concepts. Would you like to review what you've learned or continue with your orientation?"

  Clark considered. He had taken it slow with the basics and thought he learned them well enough. He did not want to endlessly review while his real labor remained unfulfilled. "I have enough knowledge under my belt. I will review everything later tonight."

  "Good. Now that you understand the foundation, it is time for your introduction to departmental basics."

  To their credit, SIMP then did just that and well, too. It spent the following hour explaining to him the many individual aspects of working for Augustford; it was so much information to take in and so he drifted in and out of focus, despite trying his hardest to keep up with the intense knowledge flurry.

  "Thus, when you take a blank check from a customer, remember to always insert the check into the machine with the blank side facing yourself. Otherwise, an error message will appear dictating the proper usage," SIMP finished explaining how to tender different customer payment methods while on register.

  By now, his blue screen had faded from his eyesight because he was not focused on any part of it. A tone sounded which returned his attention to his blue screen. This time what popped up wasn't the blue screen proper but just a few words which hung in his vision, irradiated slightly by a glowing silver aura whose sheen touched each bold-fronted character: [+1 XP].

  Then, right after, another pop-up notification: [Congratulations! You have reached Imbued Power, Level 2].

  I leveled up...? I guess that was the passive XP? When did the Fake Sire Augustford tell me about passive XP? The clock says... oh, its been about an hour. One passive XP point earned per hour, then? Great. Kind of slow, though. Oh well. That is the point. They want me to work hard to earn more.

  Sire Augustford's voice sounded as it read each notification.

  [You've acquired 1 Opportunity]

  He wanted to open his Opportunity 'loot box' right away to see what he got, but he couldn't do so while on the clock.

  Clark asked the AI what was next on the agenda. It replied more training and then lunch. Two hours elapsed. Time where, as he thought, he earned another two experience points.

  From his stomach rumbled an odious sound. Lunch can't come fast enough, he thought.

  Thinking of the many odd foods Augustford Central produced in their cafeterias, he was looking forward to lunch before he even had arrived on the grounds. He wanted to set a countdown timer but just as he was about to something stirred in his head.

  Pain flared inside his head. He clutched at the sides of his head in an effort to relieve the pain but nothing he did remedied his splitting condition. A red trail spilled from his nose as he lurched from the table. He had to move and stretch his muscles; it didn't alleviate the buzzing-scratching sensation in his inner-mind, but it made it easier to bear than sitting down.

  "Argh! Augustford! Ugh! SIMP!" he shouted.

  No response.

  Only a lonely pop-up greeted his efforts: [SIMP Unavailable. Try Again Later].

  Did You Have a Lunch Break on your First Shift?