Aaaaah, why do I feel some kind of elation?

  For the first time in a while, I felt something good with the intent of killing. Something that I missed so much that now it felt kind of overwhelming. It was almost, almost, the same as what I would feel when I finished executing a target.

  With every cut I landed, every slash, the more eager I became. Like, I just wanna keep hurting him. Where every damage I inflicted, the closer I was to finally killing my damn enemy. The excitement of reaching the end grew with every passing moment. Every strike I landed was just increasing my momentum. The more momentum I immersed myself in, the better I performed in my battle. This fight was mine to win.

  It didn’t take long before I landed severe enough damage on the old man that he knelt to the floor, unable to keep going anymore.

  The moment he was at my mercy, where I could step on him beneath my feet, my heart raced. Why was it, that after all this time, that I felt I was finally back to what it was? Where I finally felt pleased when I was about to kill someone…

  I removed my blindfold and stared down at him. Patting my foot, I conjured ice to pierce up his leg, to lock him in place. There was no way I was gonna let him fool me again. He groaned in pain as blood flowed onto the roof’s surface.

  I merely stared down at him, reflecting on the situation. What made this guy different from the others?

  “What are you waiting for?” he asked in a low voice, expecting his demise. But I was not feeling like killing him yet until I had my answer.

  For a moment, I pondered.

  My smile widened. I had come to a realization. In the end, it all boiled down to what he was. “... I should give my thanks before I kill you.” I chuckled quietly.

  He frowned in confusion. “Your thanks? For what?”

  “For some time, I have been lacking enthusiasm to my kills. But tonight, I felt something different.” I giggled, placing my hands on my cheeks, feeling warm. I may be blushing a bit. “I enjoyed our fight, the way I hurt you, the way my blades landed on you, the idea that I’m about to kill you. Getting so close to the moment where I can finally take your life, ah, such a feeling I missed.”

  “What…?” He looked at me weird, but I disregarded him.

  I was being honest with my feelings here. One shouldn’t really disregard a sweet girl’s honesty.

  “It was weird, that, why you of all people?” I continued and stared down at him with a strong gaze. “Now I know. It’s because I dislike ninjas. This battle was personal.”

  I took a deep breath. It’s because this battle, this enemy was something I cared about, something that mattered to me. He hurt me, he damaged me, and he was among the ninjas that I disliked.

  “Unlike the others ?I killed recently, they didn’t matter to me. But this… this is different.” It was then that a thought came to mind. I crouched down before the old man. “Now, imagine if I killed those that I truly hated. What sort of feeling would I get?”

  The ones I hated: those that ruined my home, those who hurt me, those who killed my family. If I were already feeling something when fighting someone I only disliked, how elated would I feel if I got to kill those that I sincerely hated? Doing something against those that really mattered to me.

  Was that what I was lacking all along?

  Doing something that really mattered to me?

  “I can’t wait to wipe them out… all those that wronged me. And as for you, if not for our battle tonight, I would not have realized this.” I pointed my dagger at his neck as his hand moved ever so slightly. “Plain old ninjas would not have worked. But you, you’re their head, their master. Your value is tremendous to them. For my enemies. You actually got to hurt me, gave me a little stress. You really had me worked up. Our battle made me feel something real.” I chuckled. “Thank you.”

  “Y-You’re insane.”

  My elated expression vanished in an instant. “No, I’m not. I was merely going through a midlife crisis or something. But I think I got out, well, somewhat.” Besides, I was still in my youth, so not exactly a midlife crisis.

  This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

  “You find pleasure in death.”

  “Don’t you? You’re a ninja.”

  “No, you find satisfaction in killing. We are not alike. I kill because it’s necessary, not for pleasure.”

  I shook my head. “You don’t deserve to be killed by my Absolute Mandate.” Well, he was never a target anyway. There was no mandate for it whatsoever. “Anyway, your lord is dead, and now you’re dead, how do you think your island will ?fare?”

  “You ruined everything.”

  “Oh please don’t blame me. This was bound to happen one way or another. Your island was never yours to begin with. Anyhow, we are done here.” In a flash, I slit his throat.

  I stood up and watched as he bled out, making sure he was dead. I took a deep breath, pleased by the death of my enemy.

  I sought to feel something again, that feeling I’d always get in the past. But perhaps now I've found the answer. If I get my revenge, like Hartwin did, would I feel relieved? Or would I feel happy and satisfied? Elated that I could get to kill the enemies that truly mattered to me. And at the end, to be relieved that it was finally over.

  Maybe.

  And I was looking forward to figuring it out.

  The master ninja was dead. It was a hard-fought battle, but I won.

  Assassins are superior!

  My old team would be proud.

  I cleaned off my blades and returned them to their sheaths. It would seem no one was following me. Did they really have faith that the old man would succeed? Well, whatever. Works for me.

  Time to get out of here.

  And thus, I left the area, and returned to the inn with no problem whatsoever.

  ***

  I went through my unlocked window, entering? my room. Closing the windows tight, I removed my detachable hood and sat down on my bed and removed my boots.

  Man, what a tiring day.

  I had to admit, all the activities today, or rather, tonight, drained me, and I had been longing to go to bed. I might need to report that the mission was done the moment it was over, but this was not exactly the organization where I had to report to my superior. Besides, I told Miyako to sleep well and wait till morning. So, I shouldn’t wake her up for a job well done.

  Besides, I was so exhausted, best to rest and sleep now. Otherwise, I would ruin my health further. And thus, without changing clothes, I went straight to bed and fell asleep almost immediately.

  I slept well, surprisingly.

  Morning came, and I changed into another set of clothes, plain ones. I needed to feel fresh first thing in the morning. The moment I opened the door, intending to wash my face, a frowning face immediately greeted me. I raised an eyebrow.

  “Good morning,” I said ever so casually.

  “Morning? Estelia, it’s noon!”

  “Hmm, it’s almost noon, so it’s still technically morning.”

  “It’s noon!”

  Huh, guess I overslept.

  “Why didn’t you tell me you were back?”

  “I told you to relax and get a good night’s sleep. So how could I tell you if you’re asleep?” I glanced at Satomi behind her. She also didn’t seem very well.

  It almost looked like they both hadn’t slept well.

  “We were awake most of the night,” Miyako said. “I couldn’t sleep. And I wouldn’t have slept if Velar hadn’t told me you had returned already.”

  I let out a sigh. “... My apologies. The job last night left me exhausted. I was desperate to rest.”

  “Velar said there was an alarm.” Velar was watching from a distance during the mission. As for how he knew I had returned to the inn, it must have been from Nira or the Cursed Children. “So, did it go well?”

  I urged them to enter the room. I closed the door. Wouldn’t want anyone to listen in. “The target is dead.”

  “... I see.” She lowered her head, sad. “Thank you, Estelia.”

  Ordering the assassination of the father of the person you might love must be hard. But I was proud of her, that she did what was necessary. Even though I did most of it…

  “Were you discovered while it happened?” Satomi asked.

  “It was after I killed the target. The master ninja found me. We fought.”

  Miyako’s eyes widened. “You fought against the great Seiji?”

  “Yes. He was indeed an excellent opponent. But I won in the end.”

  “... Is he dead too?”

  “Yes.”

  “... Incredible.”

  The two of them were astonished.

  “Your objective to put Hokunoa in chaos may get worse faster because of Seiji’s death,” I said. “All the most powerful men on the island are dead.” Or rather, the most powerful that were at the top of the echelon.

  Miyako nodded. “It won’t be long before the news spreads.”

  “Relieved?”

  “... I can only be relieved if things go as planned.”

  What you’re planning would affect not only the clans but also the common people…

  Things could get really hectic on this island now. With no one to reel in the ruling forces all over the island, they’d start fighting to get to the top. While there might be others who would try to make their own domains to rule. Hokunoa might get divided.

  Miyako might indirectly cause hundreds or thousands of deaths. She realized this as well.

  “Is keeping your island safe the only intention here?” I asked.

  “... Yes. What else could be there?”

  “You seek unity. Hokunoa will be in chaos, perhaps even divided. Don’t you think that’s an opportunity?”

  She frowned. “Are you suggesting that I conquer them?”

  “Yes. In time, they’ll weaken. But it would be best if you acted when they’re extremely divided.”

  We wouldn’t want them to unite to fight a common enemy.

  “But… I’m not a conqueror.”

  “Other islands might think the same and take the chance. If you do not act, you’ll be left behind.”

  “... I did not intend to unite the islands through force. Through battle and bloodshed.”

  “It won’t work on your enemies if you keep it peacefully. They’ll use force. You’ll be beaten if you don’t respond accordingly.”

  Using words against a battle of swords would end up in your loss. Fight sword with a sword. The only way to purify these lands might only be through rivers of blood.

  “... I…”

  I shrugged. “Of course, these are only my thoughts. What you do is ultimately up to you.” This was her goal, it was none of my business. “Anyway, let’s eat. I’m hungry.”