Emil

  The tumultuous meeting came to an end after Emil asked for more time to discuss amongst themselves about Nabil’s proposal. The Dhazara leader agreed with an amused smile, clearly thinking that they were simply delaying the inevitable. He was right. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that they had little choice in this matter. They had no leverage. The cards were stacked against them. Nabil had read their circumstances perfectly.

  Still, a discussion amongst the group wasn’t an entirely useless endeavor. The four of them needed time to process the insanity that just happened. They needed to be on the same page. Without Van, there was no clear leader to make decisions. Emil was willing to take the mantle, but that required Kai and Liesel’s trust. And judging by the grim and tense looks that they gave him, he was currently on thin ice.

  Inaya escorted them back to Emil’s dwelling. The sun was beginning to set, painting the horizons in harrowing blood-red. The temperatures of the Saar dropped in an instant, almost making the scorching heat during the day seem like a mirage. Food was already waiting for them when they arrived. A fire pit burned in the center and smoke rose through the opening in the low-hanging ceiling. Inaya left them be after offering a few pointers on how to eat the dishes prepared for them.

  They ate in silence.

  The possibility that the dishes were poisoned briefly crossed Emil’s mind before he discarded the useless thought. If the Dhazara had wanted them die, they would have simply left them in the Saar.

  The flames crackled. Smoke rose. Emil soon finished his last bite.

  He had been trying to eat slowly to delay the inevitable conversations that they were about to have.

  Anna was the first to break the silence.

  “Does anyone else think that Nabil is full of shit?”

  At the very least that was something that all of them could agree on.

  “Well, he was right that we don’t have much of a choice. It’s either we fight his war for him or we try to get back to Cereza on our own. And Nabil made it abundantly clear that he would not help us if we take that path,” Emil replied.

  “I thought the Dhazara were supposed to be the friendly ones.”

  “Compared to the Zal’Khari, they are. It’s just that their friendliness comes lots of nasty strings attached.”

  “Emil.” Liesel suddenly spoke up, breaking apart the frivolous exchange between him and Anna. She and Kai had been silent this entire time. “The Azurite mine that Nabil mentioned.” Her eyes tensed with steel. “Did you already know about it?”

  So I guess this is where we’re going to start. Emil shot a glance at Kai. He was staring heavily into the firepit, his face unreadable.

  “…What makes you think that?”

  “Your lack of reaction. That news should have been shocking. The royal family has a claim on all Azurite mines within the kingdom and they treat their ownership seriously as matters of national security. They’re not something to be fought over by the local lords of a region. But judging by what Nabil said, it doesn’t seem the royal family is aware of this new discovery.”

  Emil was reluctant to admit that he had slipped up. He should have done a better job of matching his reaction to the rest of his peers. Frankly, Liesel’s astute observation surprised him. He didn’t even realize that she was watching him during the meeting.

  “…House Ulster has heard rumors of its existence. Van made a deal with Troya. In exchange, she wanted us to confirm the existence and location of this mine as part of our investigations into Karni.”

  “But why keep this information a secret from us?” Liesel interrogated.

  I’m not sure if you really want to know that. Emil debated making up a lie to give three some plausible deniability in the worst-case scenario. Liesel’s intense scrutiny, however, compelled him to tell the truth. He wasn’t confident that he can weave something convincing enough to get past her.

  “Troya wanted the mine to herself. She was planning to keep it a secret from the royal family if the rumors were true. Van and I’s silence on the matter was part of the deal,” he revealed.

  Anna let out an audible grunt of shock. Kai raised his head, looking disturbed. Liesel narrowed her eyes.

  “But that’s treason.”

  Emil shrugged. “And now you three are also cursed with this knowledge.”

  Liesel shook her head in disbelief, incredulous at this revelation. It must have been frustrating. She came to the Saar and accepted this mission to redeem House Belle’s inaction during Isarelle’s fall. Instead, she got inadvertently roped into a conspiracy by a rival noble house without her knowledge.

  “And what exactly kind of deal did Van make with Troya?”

  “It was a personal matter.”

  “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Liesel was so angry that she couldn’t help but snap to her feet. Mana crackled in her vicinity, dancing violently to her frantic emotions. No frost or ice formed this time, however. The dry air of the Saar continued to suppress her Gift. “He sidetracked our mission and risked our lives for a personal affair?! And you just let it happen?!”

  There it was. The exasperation. The disbelief. The first definitive sign of her trust in him fracturing. Emil couldn’t bear to meet her eyes. The accusation in her voice hurt.

  “Enough of that.” Kai finally spoke up. He rose to his feet as well, glaring at him through the flickering embers. “How about we address the elephant in the room instead? What the hell was that back in the Saar? You know what I’m talking about! Don’t you dare try to pretend that was nothing!”

  Emil let out a nervous laugh. I really can’t deal with this.

  He spread out his arms. Bulwark erected a stone pillar in his left while Blaze flared into a ball of flames in his right. Kai and Liesel flinched at the sudden swell of mana. They stared at him, aghast and confused, not quite believing what their eyes were seeing. As if to confirm that this wasn’t a hallucination, Emil separated the fireball into small tendrils. He moved the flames with his will, drawing shapes and intricate patterns; precise movements and feats that weren’t possible without it being from a Gift. Now there was no doubt.

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  “…You have two Gifts,” Liesel muttered, eyes wide and trembling, “How? This…this shouldn’t be possible.”

  “It’s a long story.”

  Kai suddenly stomped towards him. Emil deactivated his Gifts. The two of them stood eye-to-eye, faces just inches away from each other. Kai’s eyes were bloodshot and wild. Nostrils flared, chest heaving. His eyes darted around frantically. Emil braced himself for what was about to come.

  “I knew it. I knew I recognized those flames. I knew the way you fought was familiar,” Kai rambled like he was recalling bitter memories, “That day. House Nacht. You…you’re the Flame Weaver.”

  The quiet accusation thundered in his ears.

  He could try to deny it. Pretend that he had no idea what Kai was talking about. He had deniability. He wasn’t the only Exalted in Azure City who possessed a Gift that could manipulate flames. But why bother? He knew Kai was already convinced. Trying to dissuade him would be trying to climb a slippery slope. Plus, he was tired. Tired of this mask. Tired of this fa?ade. Tired of living a two-faced life and lying to his friends that he had grown to like.

  “Yeah. I am.”

  The admission was surprisingly easy. He expected to be inundated with a flood of relief, but the release never came. Emil clenched his jaws.

  “You son of a bitch.”

  The next thing he knew he was reeling on the ground. The side of his mouth throbbed with agony. Kai was on him, swinging with reckless abandon. Each punch was heavy and precise as if he had practiced for this exact beatdown. It took both Anna and Liesel to finally pry him away.

  Emil pulled himself up. Blood crawled down his face. He grimaced, basking in the sting of the pain. Just another set of injuries added to his unending list of scars.

  “How did it feel, burning down House Nacht? And then beating down me and Charlotte?! Huh?!” Kai yelled.

  “I held back, you know?” Emil said with a self-deprecating smirk, “House Nacht was found human trafficking. They would have been caught eventually and you would have been prosecuted for crimes that you weren’t even aware of. I’d argue you ended up with a better deal becoming Aoife’s squire.”

  Kai winced. Emil knew he had nothing he could say to refute those facts.

  “…Just who are you anyways? Some sick vigilante fulfilling a revenge fantasy? Or are you secretly a Lionheart like Van? That must be it. It would explain your reaction in the Saar.”

  “I’m Steiger, actually. A Cleaner,” he blurted out in a whisper. The truth slipped out rather easily. He was surprised at himself. The secret that he had been hiding for multiple years was revealed with such casual ease. He almost smiled. What a letdown. He’d always wondered what dramatic scenario would cause him to expose his true affiliations. He didn’t think it would be an argument amongst those who considered his friends.

  Would they still be friends after tonight? He wasn’t sure. He hoped for it. He yearned for it. But the insanity of the secrets that he had just revealed might have been too much for them to stomach. The person who they thought was just a talented classmate carried so much more baggage than they knew.

  The flames cackled with violence. The room fell silent with his proclamation. Everyone was staring at him, unsure how to react. Even Anna was frozen with a look of horror on her face.

  “You’re lying,” Kai muttered. A straight as-matter-of-fact declaration. But he didn’t even look convinced himself.

  “Am I?” he growled.

  The mask of a Steiger Cleaner slipped on with ease. For a moment, he let go of the humanity that allowed him to blend into normal society. Malice drenched the air. He held nothing back and showed them his true nature. The person named Emil was a monster. An abomination cultivated by unnatural means. A tool that had been molded to kill.

  He almost relished in the panic on his friend’s faces.

  “St-Stop! You’ve proved your point!” Anna whimpered.

  Emil reined in his bloodlust. The tension in the air released in an instant like a taut string finally allowed to loosen. His friends collectively exhaled in relief. Sweat soaked their faces as they looked at him disturbed.

  “So, any other questions?”

  ***

  It didn’t take long before Kai and Liesel excused themselves out of the dwelling. The meeting was adjourned in a rather abrupt manner. Emil sighed once they left. In the end, they never even got to discuss Nabil’s proposal for them.

  Anna was the only one who stayed behind. The two of them sat by the firepit in silence. He could tell she was thinking through everything that he had just revealed. How would she take these revelations? Could she still be his friend? The uncertainty scared him, but for now, he was just glad that she hadn’t left him alone.

  “Steiger, huh?” she eventually said.

  “Yeah. It’s a long story. I don’t blame you if you don’t believe me.”

  “I do admit I find it hard to stomach,” she remarked as she stood up. She paced around the firepit as she stretched her wary limbs to the heat of the flames. The air of the Saar had grown chilly. Emil stared at her, a thousand thoughts racing through his head. Casually, she approached him and sat down, casually leaning her back against his.

  “But when I think about it, all of the mysteries, all of the unknowns, all of the things that you refuse to let me ask you about, it suddenly all makes sense. It’ll be awfully convenient if a single lie caused everything to fall into place, don’t you think?”

  “I suppose so.”

  “It also explains the violence and all the killing techniques and your composure in combat situations. And how you’re shockingly comfortable with tearing people apart.”

  “It was a desperate situation.”

  “Does Aoife know?” she suddenly asked, a hint of accusation in her tone.

  “Yeah. But not at first,” he replied, wondering why he felt rushed to explain himself, “She found out after we got her back from Vigil during the Clash of Dawn incident. I was part of the group that rescued her. I was also the reason why she got kidnapped in the first place.”

  “Huh?” Anna raised an eye.

  “I was with her, remember? She had asked to speak with me privately,” Emil recollected, “Then Vigil raided. Melody was the one who came to retrieve her. We fought. I lost. Badly. So badly that I probably should have died if she didn’t take an interest in the fact that I possessed two Gifts.”

  “Then—”

  “I avenged myself in Isarelle,” he revealed. His involvement in Melody’s capture had been kept a secret from the public. No one else outside of Steiger knew the truth except for Aoife and Rory who happened to be there to witness the aftermath of their fight.

  Anna whistled in admiration. “Remind me to never get on your bad side.”

  “Just don’t try to kill me and we’ll be okay.”

  “Ohhh, scary.”

  Emil scoffed. He allowed himself a small smile as a wave of relief washed over him. Despite everything, Anna still felt comfortable enough to banter with him.

  “Van, was he part of Steiger as well? He seemed too flippant to be a Lionheart,” she asked.

  “Yeah, Steiger.”

  “Were the two of you close?”

  Emil thought for a moment. “I don’t know,” was the best response that he could manage. His relationship with Van had always been complicated at best. “He was the most annoying man that I’ve ever met. It was like he existed just to get on my nerves. But I also wouldn’t be here right now if it weren’t for him.”

  “And where would you be instead?”

  “Dead. In a ditch somewhere. Buried beneath the ground. Forgotten,” he said morbidly, “I was an orphan on the verge of death when he found me.”

  Anna leaned in closer, resting the back of her head against his. “An orphan, huh? That also explains a lot of things.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Nothing in particular. I just felt like saying it,” she replied with a playfulness in her voice.

  Silence settled naturally. The firepit flickered with warmth. Smoke rose slowly towards the open ceiling. The winds of the Saar sang with a melancholic hum. Anna’s calm presence resting against his back. It was strange. The inside of this dwelling had been so intense just moments ago.

  “My condolences,” she suddenly said, catching him off guard.

  “What?”

  “I obviously didn’t know Van well. I’m generally not a fan of people who live life with a flippant attitude, maybe because I’m too serious and high-strung myself. And I don’t think I need to explain my qualms with him using us and making deals behind our backs for his personal affairs,” Anna continued. Her voice suddenly dropped to a gentle whisper. “But I guess I have nothing bad to say about him if he was the reason why you and I were able to meet.

  “So instead, I’ll say to him, thank you. Thank you for saving Emil.”

  His view of the firepit suddenly grew blurry. He was overwhelmed with a lump in his throat.

  “That might be the nicest thing anyone’s ever said about him,” he joked instead as the tears crawled down his face.