Resisting the temptation to py the game was much easier said than done. I had long since gotten well and truly hooked by the addicting gamepy and… yes, also the lesbian-ness. What can I say? I’d always been super drawn to depictions of girls kissing each other, girls in retionships with each other… girls having sex with each other. It often made me feel like a bit of a creep, considering I was, ya know, a guy. I was like… fetishising lesbians, or something. But I couldn’t help myself!

  I ended up cracking open a beer and sitting down to watch YouTube video essays to distract myself. On my first sip, however, I recoiled at the taste. I definitely did not remember beer tasting this gross! God, had my fucking taste buds changed as well? That was so weird.

  I suppressed a grimace as I chugged the whole thing. God, I needed to find something better than this.

  After sitting through about an hour of a ten hour video about Harry Potter, I decided to try watching something else. I could continue the essay ter… she says, knowing she’ll probably leave it in her watch ter for a year.

  The next morning, while I was preparing a bowl of cereal for myself, my phone pinged with a DM from Rachel.

  XxChained_RebelxX: dude, can I come over? I’m going insane rn

  Lord.L: yeah. Wanna py Smash?

  I felt a weird twinge of… some sort of negative emotion looking at my username. I wasn’t sure what was bothering me, but I suddenly had the urge to change it.

  I navigated to my user settings, then selected the option to change username.

  But what to? “Lady.L?” I mean, it would make sense, I was, after all, currently pretending to be a girl, and ‘Lord’ was a very masculine term.

  Further, the L could stand for something? What would it stand for? Lilith, of course! I typed out “Lady Lillith” and hit accept without thinking.

  XxChained_RachelxX: sounds good to me. I’ll be right over

  Lady Lillith: seeya soon!

  Hopefully, with Rachel here, I would be able to successfully avoid pying that game and further de-masculinising myself!

  Rachel must have already been heading over when I messaged her, because not even five minutes ter I had to let her into the building. A short wait ter, and I heard her knocking gently on my front door — which was a big difference from how she’d used to pound on the door.

  I dumped my now empty bowl in my sink then got up to let her in.

  As soon as the door was open, she rushed into my apartment.

  It seemed like she’d gone clothes shopping or something, because I didn’t recognise the clothes she was wearing. She had a pair of skinny jeans — which Harry would never have ever worn — and t-shirt which made it very apparent that she had more feminine assets up top on. It looked like she was even wearing a bra, which, now that I thought about it, was probably a good idea. They may not be that big yet, but my little boobies definitely needed support! I made a mental note to go pick one up tomorrow.

  “Hey,” Rachel said. “You good?”

  I realised I’d been staring at her. I looked away. “Um, just, still a bit weird seeing you looking like this.”

  “It’s weird seeing you looking all cute and girly too, dude,” she replied.

  My mind short circuited. Cute and girly. That’s right, I look cute and girly right now. For whatever reason, that was giving me all sorts of warm and fuzzy feelings.

  “Um, right,” I said. “Bad weird?”

  “Huh?” Rachel said. “I mean, I guess? We’re supposed to be guys.”

  I nodded. “Um, right, so Smash?”

  Rachel blinked. There was a faint blush on her cheeks. Why was she-

  “Oh! Right yeah. Let’s py.”

  After a few rounds, Rachel excused herself to go to the bathroom, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I didn’t really like being alone with my thoughts. I always needed to be doing something, otherwise they’d start to overwhelm me.

  I also needed to pee too, I realised. I got up to head to the bathroom. As I walked towards the bathroom door, Rachel opened it, and I was face to face with her, and – God, she was cute. The two of us froze, caught in each other’s gaze. I gnced at her lips, and idly thought that they looked really kissable-

  Whoa there, Lillith! Slow down, girl!

  “Um… bathroom,” I said, pointing over a once again blushing Rachel’s shoulder.

  As I sat on the toilet, I repyed that moment in my head.

  God, had I actually thought about kissing her? What the hell was wrong with me? Sure, she looked like a cute girl, and, for all intents and purposes, me wanting to kiss a cute girl was straight, but Rachel was actually a guy, even if she didn’t look the part right that second. So kissing her would be gay, and I was definitely not gay. I definitely did not want to kiss any guys. It still didn’t stop my mind wandering, picturing myself pressing her up against the wall and pressing my lips against hers, and-

  Fuck!

  Ok.

  It’s fine.

  My best friend just turned into a cute girl, and now I have to deal with finding ‘her’ attractive. I hoped things just didn’t get any more awkward.

  After a few more rounds, Rachel and I decided to split one of my Monsters — Ultra Rosa, specifically.

  “You know, I’m kind of curious about how far it’ll go,” Rachel commented.

  I frowned, the can halfway up to my lips, trying hard not to think about how Rachel’s lips had just been touching this exact same can. “How far what will go?”

  “The game,” she said. “I… I kind of wanna find out how far it goes? Does it go all the way?”

  I frowned. “You wanna know if it’ll take your dick?”

  Rachel turned redder than my hair. “Um, yeah. Like, will it f-fully turn me into a girl?” She bit her lip anxiously and it took all my willpower not to immediately lean over and kiss her.

  “How far along are you through the game?” I asked.

  “Hm? Um, maybe halfway through the story, I think?”

  “Me too,” I said. “Wait, are you actually-”

  “M-Maybe,” Rachel said. “You know… for science. To- To expose the woke plot.”

  “Are you actually willing to lose your dick for science and ‘to expose a woke plot?’”

  Rachel didn’t say anything, instead just staring down at her p.

  “So what if I am?” She whispered. “I- I’ll just be taking one for the team. P-Preventing this from happening to o-other guys.”

  Fuck, this shy anxious thing… it was hekkin cute.

  “L-Lilly?”

  Huh?

  What was she… Oh my God she just called me Lilly! And why did that feel so… good?

  “Lillith!”

  “Huh?” I said.

  “I-I think I’m going to f-finish the game.”

  Wait, what?

  “Why?”

  She groaned. “I just told you! To expose-”

  “That’s a bullshit excuse,” I said. “You already look super duper cute and girly and-” I cut myself off. “That should be more than enough, right?”

  Rachel hesitated before responding. “I guess…” She defted a bit. “I…” she trailed off, not completing the thought.

  Something about the sad expression on her face tugged at my heart just right. I wanted – no, I needed to hug her. I scooted closer to her and made a motion to hug her then froze. What the hell was I doing?

  Rachel was staring at me with wide eyes. “Um, what are you doing, dude?”

  Fuck! Think fast, Lilly…

  “Nothing,” I said. Yeah, real clever…

  She scoffed. “No, you were coming at me like you wanted to hug me or something.”

  I cringed. “It’s just… you looked sad and when I see a sad girl I just want to comfort her… and now you probably think I’m a creep or something.”

  Rachel blushed. “I’m not really a girl, though.”

  “You look like one,” I said.

  She stared off into space for a few moments. “I… yes… I do look like a girl… and so do you.” She turned to look at me. “Fine, you can hug me.”

  “Um, are you sure?”

  “We’re both girls. Or, pretending, anyway. But that’s something girls do, right? They hug each other. They’re more- more touchy feely than guys are. If we’re going to properly pretend to, um, be girls, we should… yeah…” She scooted closer. “So fucking woman up and hug me!”

  “Alright, alright, jeez, dude,” I said.

  “And don’t call me dude. I am a girl as far as you’re concerned now. Treat me like one! You don’t call girls ‘dude’, do you?”

  “Um, no,” I said.

  The moment of assertiveness from Rachel didn’t st long until she defted a bit. “Sorry. You, um, don’t have to-”

  I scooped her up into a hug, and she let out a startled squeak. But she didn’t push me away, instead just wrapping her arms around me to return the hug.

  This… this is really nice…

  Rachel seemed to rex, too, which was good.

  gayannabeth